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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Biggest Loser...

Another full day of fever, make-up schoolwork, therapy (solo), picking up softball uniforms, grocery store, cooking, apologizing, work, coffee, candy, phone calls, strangers walking into my home, finding out why my mom bounced a check, and of course Tuesday is "Biggest Loser" night. No, not me, the fatso tv show that images my house every week. I am told my sitting here chirping about the contestants is reminiscent of "Mystery Science Theatre 3000."  I tend to surf on my phone, read TMZ, play some shark eating game, and occasionally look up and remark on what I am seeing/hearing. One of the trainers is yelling at throwing the challenge... Or someone is crying because they realize the main problem is on the inside... Or the producers throw an "unexpected" challenge or temptation. The names change every year but it is the same show. Survivor meets Hoarders meets "Oh, wasn't she a great big fat person.".  I actually researched and found out JD Roth produces the show...  and he produced and hosted "Endurance," the Discovery Kids reality show...  and has been in the public eye for years before.  And I hate him.  And I hate that he is successful.  And then I hate myself that he's successful.

But whatever, good for him.  And besides, what else am I gonna watch???  CSI Wichita?  NCIS?  LAW and Order :Financial Bureau? Dancing with No Stars? Gossip Girl?  Ok, I would soooo  watch Gossip Girl if only cause Blake Lively is smoking hot.  And the one episode I did see she was drugged and ended up in a seedy Brooklyn apartment.  That is a writing staff that is paying attention.

I suppose reading is an option.  But what?  I have a fantasy baseball draft Sunday.  I guess I could do some research as I am the only team in the league without a championship.  Nah, it's still 40 degrees as the high.  Baseball is not in the front of my mind.  Had an opportunity to see the Yankees opening day Thursday.  Pass times a thousand.  Cannot imagine sitting in cold watching those overpaid bums celebrate the season.  And don't get me started on their character-less, concrete cavern of unfun.

I read the paper and some online news sites so I feel current.  A novel?  Magazine?  Sure, they are options.  But what?  My mind is so full of nonsense and trivia that real, tangible knowledge and words that conjure meaning...  um, not in my realm!!!

And the good news is I can return to work tomorrow.  Chest xrays and follow up appointment are on the wife's watch.  There is no way we can send the little one to school, again.  Sadly, she has gotten no better and has grown beyond frustrated.  The dining room table fills up with assignments and lessons undone.  We reverted back to times table drilling earlier as to prevent her cerebellum from sneaking out of her ear drums.

I CAN"T TEACH!!!  She has to get back to school.  Can someone please recommend a mindless, quick read which will simultaneously stimulate my ever fading brain???

Or better yet Jackass 3.  Where did I put my 3D glasses???

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