White Flag

Its been 8 weeks since they closed the World.  8 weeks of no commuting into NYC to work.  8 weeks of my daughter finishing her final year of high school in her bedroom.  Zoom lessons.  Masks and 6 feet apart everywhere.  Boardwalks closed.  Women everywhere have long hair and nasty roots and who knows what kind of bush under their yoga pants.  Men have never had beautiful lawns.  Puzzles are a thing again.  Its like the 60s all over again- the 1860s!!

And I have tried to stay informed, but not overwhelmed.  There is never any cable news.  I cannot in good conscience watch one of Trump's briefings.  But I know what's going on out there.  Through it all things have remained fairly calm in my World.  We have a roof above us.  We can source and prepare foods.  And we have worked a bit, thankfully- although of late not so much.

But its kind of enough already.  

And listen, I am not one of those virus deniers.  I know at least 5 people who have gotten the virus.  Of those 5 or so they are all better now.  The shit exists, and is taking out several people.  For that there is no argument.  My work has taking me to several NYC hospitals and I am witness to several refrigerated morgues that were not parked there pre- pandemic.  

It pains me that our health system was so compromised in the front end.  Perhaps we will have a respite and be able to rebuild and replenish the embarrassment that was our preparedness.  What if this was a strain that attacked a younger demographic??  That is, ones that could have hung on longer.  What if the .005 percent dying was in their 20s or teens?  

After 8 weeks though it's time.  We may need to see how this ends up on OUR terms, please.

If we cannot maintain distance or come up with a "new normal" maybe we should be don't deserve to live.  If we fall into the same patterns immediately after having the past few months- are we worth saving?

People need to work.  People need to socialize.

Now, we are staring at a mental health crisis that could far surpass the toll Covid-19 takes.  Not to mention domestic abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, food abuse, etc...

Its trade off time, now.  

Of course the essential workers and front line health care folks need a break and deserve our thanks.  Opening shit certainly piles on to their (already overwhelmed) plate.  No one wants them home with their families and safe more than me.  But this should lead to a surge in vocations, right?  When we go to War the Government seizes on it to enlist soldiers.  The health care boom should happen now.  Let.  It.  Commence.  

Otherwise, we are all gonna lose our collective minds.  Maybe we all sign a waiver?  Let us loose and if we become a health care burden please shut us down.  If we get sick within first 3 months and are too far gone please exterminate.

Sweden hasn't distanced or shut down and their folks are doing ok.  I mean there is illness and such, but not egregious.  It's interesting.  Grant you, Scandinavian and pretty much every other Western country is healthier than us as a rule.  However, we are only making ourselves more vulnerable sitting around watching all the shows and eating all the chips...

Side note- As I'm listening to Deja Vu, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young's masterwork, I remember that yesterday was May 4th- the day four students were killed at Kent State. Did you all listen to "Ohio" yesterday?   It was barely on any of my feeds.  They were clogged with Star Wars May the 4th bullshit.  Speaks to our priorities.  

We can't be trusted to heal ourselves at home.  We don't learn.  We struggle to retain.

Perhaps this is our final rehearsal.  Learn from our mistakes.  Make the necessary adjustments.  Love one another.  Accept one another.  Laugh more.  See art.  Value life over profit.  Surrender to your heart.  Listen to your gut.  

And let this act as halftime speech.  Get us the fuck back in the game!!!  

This isn't a rifle carrying lunatic at the State House either.

This is a calm, measured tone from someone who is willing to risk a little bit.  So I can go to work, and talk with a friend, eat a nice meal, take in a museum.  Without it we are all dying a little faster too.  Its not a virus, but its still taking a toll.

Maybe we are capable.  Maybe this is our chance to be leaders again.  One way to find out.

Knock Knock..

Social Media and the Pandemic- are you doing it right?

I was guilty of too much screen time before all this nonsense hit.  I have been reluctant to post much for the past several years.  But I would be lying if I said I wasn't aware of whats happening on my friends' feeds.  Wake up- scroll.  Have a snack- scroll.  Catch up on emails- scroll.

And now this?  Scroll.  Scroll.  Scroll.

So this won't be one of those feel good or emphatic posts.  Fact is, how can I provide a guideline of any sorts when we all vacillate between some rules to no rules at all.

However, I am still kind of an asshole.  So I am gonna point out a couple things that have, lets say, antagonize me.

First, politicizing Covid-19  isn't helping anyone or anything.   Every 30 year old + human on the planet has some sort of online profile by now.  We need not do homework on where you stand as it pertains to our government.  There are camps that blame this mess on China, and the caliphate, and all things anti-"Big American Industrial Machine."

Side note- if you are 30 and do not have an online profile you can assume the government has a file (probably pretty large) on you.

The opposite side will inundate you with graphs, charts and Washington Post/New York Times articles until you mercifully block them or buy in to Trump as "anti-christ."

They are both right- and oh so wrong.

Because right about now no one gives a fuck.

We wanna know how we are gonna afford to put food on the table.  More importantly, we wonder  where to procure the food and will there be anything left?

And let me be clear,  I can be persuaded about how the government's reaction was slow.  Catch me in the right mood (its usually 4am) and maybe I will like your offensive meme.  But I probably read or saw the same damn thing you posted days before!  More importantly, I am capable of forming my own opinion.

Did I mention the scrolling?  We are all OVER informed at best.  And probably a little under informed at worst.

Our anxiety is piqued.  Our minds are constantly distracted.  Do we then need your hot take on why the left wants to take your arms and never let you open your business again?

We get it, we really do.  You care- one way or the other.

But we don't care that you care, do we?   We all have our own shit to deal with.

And sorry, that means the election to.  See you in August- hopefully.  Change your profile pic to a MAGA or Biden icon and move on.  But really, you don't even need to do that.  We know your deal.

Lets stick with the TikTok's of your family acting like d bags.  Keep sending this recommendations for books and music that has kept your mind moving.

From such adversity comes tremendous art.  This is the golden age of TV.  What are you watching?  Binging on?  Tell us!!!  We need that common bond.   Here is an opportunity to explore your mind and the people that live in your home.  What makes them tick?  Do they know then you think?  What is his or her name and are you sure he or she is part of the family?

Show us the folks clapping at health workers.  Send a link to a service or community in need.  Be BEST!

Sadly, this is a reckoning of sorts.  The old way wasn't working.  What will we want to do when the new normal beckons us?

Right back to the vitriol of a campaign?  Is that what our future is?

Or will we want to spend more time outside breathing in the fall air?  Maybe we can hit the museums a bit more?  Theatre?  Remember concerts???

There will be plenty of time to point fingers and bitch about the establishment so soon folks!  I promise you, your voice will be heard.

For now, can I just be a dick and ask to think thrice before you post?  Pretend the person seeing it is one step away from throwing in the towel (cuz sometimes they are!!!)

Now post that vid of the dog jumping into the leaves and end it.



And since I brought it up...


Better Things on Fox is wonderful.

Top Chef is a guilty pleasure and the best kind of porn on basic cable.  Remember cuisine???

New Yorker Cartoons is a must follow.

and here is my best tunes of 2020 to date...

Peace kids!  Lets be safe out there.

Senior Year/Pandemic

Back in the 90s it was all I could do to get into college.  My grades sucked.  My attitude sucked.  I came from little means and from afar it probably looked like I had a one way ticket to Palookaville.

Thankfully I had some athletic ability and a coach who doubled as our schools guidance counselor.  He arranged for some trustee at a small Northeastern PA school to grab some head cases and bring them all for a campus visit.  I remember it being kinda late for all this.  January?  February?

I had taken the SATs a few times and distinctly remember falling asleep during one test.  You guessed it, my scores didnt afford me the luxury of being lazy in the classroom.  Listen, I was undiagnosed adhd with some ocd sprinkled in for good measure.  That is my diagnosis from having lived on Earth nearly 50 years.  It has gotten better, but I am clearly still ill.

In any event I took the tour.  The campus had some pretty buildings.  It was located on the Susquehanna River and charming.  My big takeaways were 1) it was so mountainous headed into town they had runaway truck ramps and 2) the school seemed to have interest in me.

It would be the only school I visited.   My coach/counselor pleaded with their Admissions department a few weeks later to accept me.  "Hes a good kid, will work hard to give it his all.  He just needs a chance."

That was it.  That was the extent of my process.    There was really no other choice.  The plan was to go to college.  First in my family to do so and my parents probably went further into debt to make it happen.

But I didnt fuck it up.  Coach was right and I did get my shit together.  I double majored.  I deans listed.  I managed to spend time getting to know myself and various drugs and drink.  It was a proper college experience without ANY real foresight on what/how to do it.

Fast forward to 2020 and I am prepared to send off my only child to college.  The process, to say the least, has been markedly different.

Before we began in earnest our official tours, sometime in her junior year, this was a young woman who has been on many college campuses.

A trip to DC inevitably meant a walk around Georgetown.  Vacations in NC were often times sidetracked with strolls through Duke, or UNC Wilmington, Chapel Hill, and NC State.  She knew the formula well.  How are the cafeterias gluten free options?  Does their gym have Peloton machines?  What kind of entertainment do they bring in?  A list, right?  Otherwise what are we talking about really?

Ok maybe it wasn't that obnoxious, but holy shit these schools are friggin amazing.  On a visit to LA last year we walked Loyola Marymount.  Overlooking the Pacific and City of Angels on pristine lawns it was easy to fall in love.  But who can go to school there??  It is too pretty!!   I cant send someone 3000 miles away and expect her to go to class.  It is a country club with classes.

Good news is she got deferred!

Not really good news, but you get the point.

The greater issue is how can these kids enjoy their final year?  I detailed my senior year process, not that others should follow.  Admittedly my process was too lax and I was fortunate.  I had classmates that were in a different grind and made significant efforts to get to "the" school.  However I would see  those same students gathered around the keg each weekend.  There was ample time for fun and the innocence of age 17.

WE INTERRUPT THIS SHITTY BLOG TO BRING YOU COVID 19 PANDEMIC!!!!

Yeah, so, about enjoying senior year...  I started that train of thought a few weeks back.  Remember, when there were things??

Now NYC school seems like distant memory.  My daughter will likely spend her last half year of high school in her bedroom.  No prom.  No final sports season.  No walk down the aisle in her schools majestic church.

This is the new normal.  

And enough of the self pity and "Oh shit she has been robbed of those memories."  Sure, it is unfortunate.  But as I was saying above the high school experience had been a bust anyway.  She may have had some great memories.  Her (and her mother's) planned Italy trip didn't happen either.  BUMMER FOR SURE!

Interrupted.  All of it.

OK, so now what?  My daughter is gonna be fine.  So, too are her classmates.  If anyone is able to learn remotely and adapt to an ever changing world, its these kids.  College and/or whatever future will happen.  Things will get back to normal.

But how will WE handle it?

This is the cleanse and purge we so desperately needed.

The Earth is cleaning its air and water.

We are less reliant on cars for a bit.

We are seeing how the blue collar and service industry is more vital than many perceive.  How much do you think fast food workers should make now?  How about gas station attendants?  Grocery store clerks?  Bankers?  TEACHERS???

This is where the inequality between classes comes back and bites us?  If we were invaded by several countries our military would be ready to handle anything and everything!  Do we need all the weapons?  Why do we buy guns when a virus hits anyway?  Can you shoot this thing dead?  We do love our shiny weapons?  Can our country really be full of small dicked fraidy cats?

The bigger question is:  Can a brother get a hospital bed?  Respirator?  Affordable Health Care??

Is this the Country we want?  Is this the best we are?

So this cleanse should be teaching us to value ALL workers.  The chain should be reassessed.  It must be.

The way we work must be different.  There will be more remote or stay at home labor.  Meetings will be virtual or replaced by emails.  Shouldn't they have been years ago anyway?

That is not to say offices will be obsolete.  But it must be re-imagined.  Will employers be mindful of what is needed?  Will they pivot correctly?

Will this get us off our asses?  Will we get outside and walk/bike/work out more?  We should!  We have been the past few weeks.

Move.  Change.  Pivot.  The signs are all there.

Macro changes have forced us to look inward.  Do we need to horde toilet paper?  Do we need ALL the things?

Or do we only need a connection?  Cooperation?  Shared views of the joy that has been staring at us all along?

The news of the day is horrifying, don't mistake me.  I have to be in NYC here and there for work and the vibe and scene is eerie.  I measured a job yesterday in Holmdel NJ (at a large mall like structure.) NO one was in the massive building and I was certain I was in a reboot of George Romero's Dawn of the Dead.  It is dystopian.  It is scary.  I get it.

It is not, however, end times.  This is an opportunity to look within.  To find out what really matters and how you plan on spending the rest of your days here.

We have been given a look into how fragile this all is.  How will you be remembered?

I am hopeful we will all be part of the solution- and make each day better than the last.

Peace
HB