Songs from the Background: "The Girl From Ipanema"

“What stands fast does so, not because it is intrinsically obvious or convincing; it is rather held fast by what lies around it.”
― Ludwig Wittgenstein, On Certainty    


It is common now to refer to music mawkishly as the "Soundtrack of our Lives".  I think this phrase was invented by K-Tel Records. Or maybe the producers of Jersey Boys. I'm not sure.

Psychologists tell us about "Flashbulb Memory", or how we will recall a detailed picture decades later, if it has been associated with a dramatic event. For Baby Boomers, it was "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?"  For us Gen Xers', substitute "Reagan" for "Kennedy". For all of us, its "Where were you when the second plane hit?"

Songs in a movie soundtrack, therefore, can take on a new life forever associated with a certain powerful dramatic scene. For example, the 1972 hit by Stealer's Wheel Stuck In the Middle With You is no longer a folk/country rock easy listenin' song about the absurdity surrounding music stardom, but a chillingly absurd torture theme:

Stealers Wheel "Stuck in The Middle With You"

And a dreamy New Wave synth-pop tune like Q Lazzarus's"Goodbye Horses" , rather than being a trip down memory lane about love gained and lost on a 1980's dance floor, is forever associated with this hauntingly surreal dance partner:

"Wasn't she a great, big fat person?"

.....which in turn inspired this even more disturbing kabuki performance:

Jay and Silent Bob take on Buffalo Bill

Dramatic examples of songs pushed to the foreground and typecast forever, to be sure. But what about songs that time after time, movie after movie, and performer after performer, are able to always remain in the background?

The greatest of all of these songs from the background is The Girl From Ipanema.

The Girl From Ipanema is one of those songs used to specifically set a tone to evoke emotion or some of the certain time or certain. As a song from the background we don't often take the time to actually listen to it, as we are instantly carried away by what the song suggests, and where the filmmaker or television director wants to take us.

The Girl from Ipanema suggests pre-flower power 1960s. Coco beach, Mercury astronauts, white eye shadow and lipstick, and flip hairdos. The Pill and sex, but before hippies and protests.  Cocktails like an Old-Fashioned,  a Brandy Alexander , a Cuba Libre', or a piña colada served in a coconut.

The song is reputed to be only exceeded by The Beatles "Yesterday" as the most covered song of all time.

A huge, Grammy winning hit  in 1965, Here is the original version, sung by Astrud Gilberto - You will recognize it as soon as you hear it:

Original Girl from Ipanema

Gilberto, untrained as a singer at the time, has an unmannered delivery that evokes an ethereal, dispassionate observer of a young girl's inadvertent power over a man lingering in a Rio de Janero sidewalk café.

Another take on the song from Old Blue Eyes:

Sinatra sings Girl from Ipanema

Here, Sinatra's signature voice is only half of the strength of this version - the other is how Sinatra uses his own well known persona as a jaded roué to take on the perspective of the man in the café. You can hear and feel how the young girl's beauty "passing by" suggests his own life passing by with her now unreachable image.

Finally, an arresting and provocative interpretation from Amy Winehouse:

We miss you Amy

Winehouse takes the role of the girl watcher as well, but not in an imitation of Sinatra, or as sexually interested observer. Rather, Winehouse, with her trademark acerbic wit and with full confidence in her own iconic, genre-crossing talent, winks at us about the song's cultural position as a timeless background tune. She is fully aware of the song being a pop-culture artifact, and ironically plays with it accordingly.

Curiously, I could not find many examples from the movies online, but this use of The Girl From Ipanema's in the background of cinema is a sharp commentary on its ubiquity:

We Miss you too Mr Belushi

So what keeps a song timelessly in The Background? Is it the tune? The melody? Is it the moment in time the original song captures?

Is it the way, like a beach ball, we pass it lightly from genre to genre, never letting it land and stick?

Do we all secretly conspire to keep it alive?

Tell me your favorite Song From The Background.

The Left-Wing Conservative: Marriage Equality in New Jersey

There is still no marriage equality in New Jersey. It lost by one vote - Governor Christie.

I wrote him a letter about it, and received his reply, reproduced verbatim below.

Office of the Governor

Office of Constituent Relations

Post Office Box 001

Trenton, New Jersey 08625-0001



GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE ELECTRONIC RESPONSE


March 29, 2012


Mr. David M. Snyder

Kendall Park, New Jersey



Dear Mr. Snyder:



Thank you for contacting me regarding your support for Senate Bill No. 1 and
Assembly Bill No. 1, both of which would establish the "Marriage Equality
and Religious Exemption Act."  I appreciate hearing your views on this
issue.



As you may know, I conditionally vetoed this legislation.  While I believe
the wisdom of same-sex marriage can be debated, it is beyond dispute that
such a step represents a profoundly significant change.  The framers of our
State Constitution created the referendum process as the sole mechanism by
which the Constitution can be amended to consider precisely these important
issues.  I have repeatedly encouraged and continue to ask that our State
Legislature trust the people of New Jersey and seek their input by allowing
our citizens to vote on the question of same-sex marriage.  I believe this
is best way to resolve the issue of same-sex marriage in our state.  An
issue as important as this should be left for the people of our state to
decide, not 120 legislators in Trenton.  Moreover, public polling has shown
that the majority of voters in our state support same sex marriage.  I want
to leave it to the people of our state to decide, and will be guided by
their will.



Some have said that the impetus for same sex marriage is that regulations
related to our state's civil union statutes are somehow flawed or not being
enforced.  This is a charge I take very seriously.  Same-sex couples in a
civil union deserve the very same rights and benefits enjoyed by married
couples - as well as the strict enforcement of those rights and benefits.
Discrimination should not be tolerated and any complaint alleging a
violation of a citizen's right should be investigated and, if appropriate,
remedied. That's why I have called upon the Assembly and Senate to revise
this legislation to immediately create an Ombudsman for Civil Unions in the
Department of Law and Public Safety. The Ombudsman will work with the
Attorney General and would be charged with increasing awareness of the law
regarding civil unions and will provide a clear point of contact for anyone
who feels that the law is not being followed or that they are not being
afforded the protections and rights to which they are entitled.  In this
way, we can ensure equal treatment under the law.



While I understand that we may not agree on this issue, I hope this
information clarifies your concerns about this matter.  Thank you again for
writing and best wishes.



Sincerely,





Chris Christie

Governor

The Neighbourhood, Bowery Ballroom 4.29.13

First the good news, and there is plenty.  California indie rockers The Neighbourhood have released a rather solid debut record (released 4.23), I Love You.  From it, we have been fortunate enough to learn/devour/enjoy some exciting new songs; namely the comely and sedutive "Sweater Weather" and pulsating/spooky "Female Robbery".  The band, Jesse Rutherford (vocals), Jeremy Freedman and Zach Abels (guitar), Mikey Margot (bass), and Bryan Sammis (drums) have youth on their side.  As I struggle to get out of bed these days it is easy to lavish praise on kids.  And these guys are kids!  For that reason it is easy to give them a pass when it comes to identity, stage presence and overall live presentation.

With that in mind their sold out performance at Bowery Ballroom 4.29.13 must be graded as an incomplete.  Some more positives if you will allow.  For a Monday evening show the place was jammed and most of the crowd was energetic, engaged and polite those in attendance old enough to be their parents.  It must be noted that my ever growing sample size indicates concert crowds under the age of 30 are far more behaved than thirty somethings and beyond.  Also, although it can adversely effect your morning routine for days to follow, seeing a concert early in the week can be rewarding in a few ways.  That is, if you head to a concert on Monday you are making a firm commitment.  So are the rest of those in attendance.  These folks really want to see the band on stage.  Worst case they are eager to see a live act and jump on the bandwagon.  My posse qualified for the latter.  

Go to Terminal 5, or even my beloved Webster Hall, on a Thursday or Friday and the crowd is vastly different.  Some are out for a good time.  Some are out to get drunk.  Some are there for the band.  The chatter intensifies among the concert goers as the night moves on.  Not to mention those evenings might find the band hitting the stage after (gasp!) 11pm.  That kind of night screws up your morning routine for weeks!

Anyway, the kids on stage and the kids in the crowd were clearly having fun.  For my money, the hour long set was entertaining, but not captivating.  Rutherford seems to be trying 1) to establish himself as a large than life lead singer in every sense of the phrase while 2) still trying to figure out who exactly he is?  

Is he a tough, leather jacket-wearing rap/singer jumping on stacks and leading the crowd in a sing along?

Or maybe the soft spoken, misunderstood romantic you might see in an Abercrombie ad or Twilight film?

He works real hard, maybe too hard.  His voice is strong and his hit singles were all played to perfection.  Many times a new band will try desperately to "re-work" their notable songs in an effort to show their versatility.  When you roll into a town the first couple times you are better server playing them as we all know, and love them.  The Neighbourhood did exactly that and both "Female Robbery" and "Sweater Weather" were high points.  

It was during the quieter times that Rutherford and his mates became more worrisome.  Some songs were similar sounding.  It was not bad, just similar.  

More troubling was Rutherford's styling as opposed to the rest of his crew.  Sure they all wore the same crew cuts, but that is where the similarity ended.  Rutherford was in all white, covered in ink, with sharpie written messages sprawled on his ripped white jeans.  His bandmates wore things like Anaheim Mighty Ducks t's, wife beaters, blazers and scoop necks.  All.  Over.  The Map.

While that might not seem like much, trust me, it is.  Because during those "off" moments when the song performed does not captivate your eyes start roaming.  They notice a disconnect.  They start wondering about cohesion.  Then you start listening to the song again and think "maybe this isn't sounding quite right cause they are not ALL feeling it."  "Perhaps the lead singer is wielding too much influence and turning the others off?"  

Listen, if your mind starts playing tricks like that then something is amiss.  

But, as mentioned earlier, these guys are young.  They roll through NYC in June for stops at Bowery again and Music Hall of Williamsburg (tix here).  Maybe this added time on the road will seem them mesh even stronger.  Maturity is a wonderful necessity.  Marrying maturity with the inherent adolescence rock and roll demands is a tall task.  

Time will tell if The Neigbourhood remains up to it.

The Neighborhood, 4.29.13

The Question Mark:  Is Jesse Rutherford on an island?

Or a man committed to the "band" The Neighbourhood?

Best of April, 2013

Savages

Please excuse the tardiness.  Tis true, the calendar does indeed say May, 2013.  That said, this new crop of tracks should more than make up for the delay and provide plenty of happiness as the summer approaches.  Add these tracks to the already impressive March, February, and January lists, press play and enjoy.   The list can be found here on Spotify too.

Wild Belle "Keep You"  Chicago born siblings Eliot and Natalie Bergman released their debut record, Isles, in March.  That, and this single, which has a little ska/reggae feel to it, is about all the information you need to know for now.  The jury is most certainly out on the long term staying power of this act.  What is certain is this song is pretty darn cool.

Caycucas "Cayucos"  Seeing double?  It's like Bad Company singing "Bad Company."  The band, another sibling act, this time twins Zach and Ben Yudin, are from Santa Monica, CA.  The sound, is all about the left coast.  Their debut LP, Bigfoot, was released LP.  There are hints of Beck as well as newer surf/mood rock alt favorites Local Natives, Grizzly Bear and Beach Fossils, to name a few.  

Savages "She Will"  All female, British post-punk rockers who have gathered quite a bit of buzz during the early part of 2013.  Their debut record, Silence Yourself, comes out tomorrow, 5.7.13.  This single owes a lot to early the Edge and early U2 and even more to Patti Smith and the NYC punk scene of the late 70s.  No video for this song yet but you can see them perform "Husbands" from the Jools Holland show here.  One, super hot seeing chicks rock out.  Two, why on Earth does the US not have a show like Jools Holland live?

Foxygen "No Destruction"  This is the second track from these flaky, psychedelic newcomers.  Last we heard from duo Jonathan Rado and Sam France they were shouting at concert goers at SXSW in Austin and canceling their European tour "for the creative health of the band."  Sometimes too much attention, too soon, can be a very bad thing.  The fact is their LP, the pretentiously titled We are the 21st Century Ambassadors of Peace & Magic, is a must have.  This track would fit neatly into an early Bob Dylan record and features the best lyric of 2013:  You Don't Have to Be an Asshole/You're Not in Brooklyn Anymore.

Biffy Clyro "Black Chandelier"  This is a confusing one.  The Scottish act released their 6th(! who new??!!) record, Opposites, earlier this year.   This single plays like a Incubus, or Bush, Stone Temple Pilots, or other 90s alt rockers of that ilk, track.  At first you want to dismiss the holy hell out of it.  Then you see the video and the images/styling are not AT ALL what you expected the band to look like.  So. Freaking. Weird.  But for some reason you start humming the damn thing when you least expect it.  Then you look forward to hearing it on the radio.  It wears you down damn it.  That is a recipe for success, right?

Wavves "Demon to Lean On"  More post-punk.  More music played by children for adults.  More left coast rock and roll.  Another group who released a record earlier this year, Afraid of Heights (March.) For those who like Everclear, or Local H, or maybe even Green Day (except Nathan Williams voice won't make you puke.)

Orwells "In My Bed"  Ok, this song is a few years old.  But most of you haven't heard it before.  And wait for this...  these kids graduated high school a few years ago.  They make Wavves (who were born in 1986) seem downright geriatric.  Illinois kids with a few chords and plenty of bang for your buck.  They too would fit into the post-punk theme this column has taken on.  Fun fact, the lead singers name is Mario Cuomo.  Another fun fact:  it is super queer to write or say fun fact.

Gospels "Animal Feelings"  A little bit of Band of Horses, a little bit of Portugal, the Man, a little bit of that same neo-surf that has taken over the alt landscape.  Here is the real surprise- these guys are from a borough in NYC and it ain't Brooklyn!!  Forest Hills, Queens thank you very much.  They are releasing a debut EP this spring that shares its name with this easy going and feel good single.

Waxahatchee "Peace and Quiet"  Holy cow does this sound like a Liz Phair song.  90s angst as sung and performed by Philly girl (by way of Alabama) Katie Crutchfield.  You should know she too has a twin who she once performed with.  That makes 3 acts on this list with siblings (2 of which are twins.)  She split from her sister to focus on a solo career.  From that we have this no frills, alt country Cat Power meets Beth Orton meets Suzanne Vega meets, ok, you get it.  How many alt songstresses can you name of the top of your head?

New Politics "Harlem"  Straight forward dance rock.  Punk meets pop that brings to mind The Offspring and more recently Neon Trees.  Not much to say other than turn it up and have some fun.

Serena Ryder "Stompa"  It's fun to pick tracks that totally unnerve my better half.  Typically those songs appear on the Sirius XM station "The Spectrum."  That channel plays to my more sensitive tendencies.  Adult contemporary and all the soft things in between make up their programming palette.  Adele and Paul McCartney are staples.  So too are any songs by woman who play guitar and repeat the same lyric over and over again.  Ryder hails from Toronto and fits this mold perfectly.  She won a Juno award (like Arcade Fire!!) for her work up North.  I could have chosen ZZ Ward's "Put the Gun Down",  Emeli Sande's "Next to Me", or worst of all, Vicci Martinez's "Come Along."  Much to her chagrin Ms Ryder gets this column's approval.  Does it get yours?

Keep on following, commenting, and listening.  Become a Fan and check in here for daily/weekly updates.

                                                                         

Further, 4.25.13. The Night That Bob Weir Collapsed on Stage

Cannot help but feel let down

It had been nearly 20 years since I last saw Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, and anything that resembled The Grateful Dead.  What I fondly remember is Weir's short shorts, boundless energy, and howling vocals.  Lesh was always somewhere in the background, but his bass could be heard.  Every now and again he would step out to the mic and lead a sing along that would leave the Dead Heads in a drugged up euphoria.  Garcia was the one most likely to flub a lyric (or several), miss a cue, or sleep walk through entire songs.  Now that I have some clarity it is not shocking that he died in 1995.  Heroin + greasy sandwiches + tour = not good.

Last night marked the 9th and final night of Further's (an enhanced Dead cover band if you will) Capitol Theatre's residency.  The good news:  Port Chester's Capitol Theatre is a real beauty.  Peter Shapiro, the man behind Brooklyn Bowl, has restored the art deco building to beyond its proper form.  He has added a state of the art lighting system, impressive sound system and kept more than enough of the old details to please just about everyone.  It is, in a word, fantastic   If you have ever tried to escape midtown Manhattan on a Friday or Saturday night this venue should be an option.  That is, would you rather spend a half hour waiting at the tunnel or driving 70 mph?   Port Chester, a working class town surrounded by affluent Rye, NY and Greenwich, CT, is only 30 miles North of NYC.

Now, onto the very, very bad news.  Bob Weir ain't that carefree 40 something anymore.  At least he wasn't last night.  His appearance aside, (think a cross between Wilford Brimley and Gary Busey), Weir looks every bit a senior citizen.  That need not be a bad thing.  Plenty of nostalgia acts continue to tour the country, even World, with great success.  Bruce Springsteen, a mere two years younger than Weir, is tireless and somewhat ageless.  Its hard for me to WATCH a two plus hour show.  How does he continue to perform them??

The first sign something was amiss came around 8:10pm.  For the first 8 shows the band took the stage promptly at 8pm.  Soon it was 8:15.  8:20.  8:25.  Eventually they made it to their designated spots around 8:30pm.  And Weir looked haggard.  They broke into "Feel Like a Stranger" which had its moments, but was clearly slowed and hampered by Weir's pace.  He was struggling.  His voice was cracky.  He missed marks and fumbled lyrics.  His guitar was noticeably absent.

John Kadlecik, from Dark Star Orchestra, plays the role of new/young/skinny Jerry.  Good thing he was in the mix.  The second tune, "Brown Eyed Women," was a highlight.  In fact, all the "Jerry" songs were done well all things considered.

But Weir is the one front and center here.  Lesh takes a more active role when he tours with Phil and Friends.  Like the old Dead days he planted himself toward the back of the stage and kept the time.
Last night a more pro active Lesh was needed.  It was during "Me and My Uncle," the Dead's MOST played song, that things went terribly wrong.  Weir attempted to get to the mic on cue but was several times thwarted by his own confusion.  The intro went on and on with band members hoping, praying that Weir would be able to pull it together.

He would not.

As the first set ended, with Weir barely able to stand upright, we all wondered what, if anything, the second set would bring?  Lesh and cast had to scramble and edit what they had planned for the second set.  These guys are a veteran team and were now responsible for carrying one of their fallen members.

The second set opened with "Scarlet Begonias" which always, transitions into "Fire on The Mountain."
Not last night.  Instead they played "Eyes of the World."  That was the nail in the coffin.  Slow paced songs were not in Weir's playbook last night and before long he was leaning on amps, stumbling clumsily and finally falling to the stage.

He got up like any good prizefighter would.  He shrugged off roadie assistance and made his marks as the band played another Jerry song, "The Wheel."  His microphone and guitar were never really audible.  There was not one scream.  Not one signature guitar lick.  He was at a different concert altogether.  Hell, he was completely absent save for his ragged body.

The Phil song "Unbroken Chain" saw Weir do all he could do to stay alive while seated.  It was awkward, oft putting, and sad.

Was he having a serious medical issue?  Was he under the influence?  Was he gonna be ok?

These are the things I do NOT want to ask myself at a rock show.

This was a night when I was reminded more of my mortality than I can remember at a concert.  20 years ago I was a skinny kid with a future ahead of him.  A nice stadium show with buddies getting blasted was an everyday occurrence.

Today I am far heavier, with grayer hair, and a ton more responsibility.  If I am going to shell out significant entertainment dollars I want to be reminded of youth, passion, and vigor.  In other words, I do not want to be depressed.

Weir and Further play another show in Atlantic City tomorrow night.  They may prove last night was a blip or aberration.  I sure hope so.

Lesh even gamely came out for a third set (sans Weir) and from what I told performed quite well.

Hell if I know.  I was busy heading home wondering where my $100 went.  And my youth.

Merch at The Cap

Capitol Theatre Lobby

The wonderful Cap Theatre ceiling/light show

Shakedown Street

Weir losing it during "Unbroken Chain"  Lesh a real pro.

Weir hanging on for dear life (seated)

Glass pipes for sale.  Shakedown Street alive and well.

Setlist and another account of last night's debacle

Zags blog with more pics/details of Weir

Joy Formidable, Webster Hall, 4.18.13

It has been a week now since Welsh trio Joy Formidable rocked Webster Hall.  First off, they packed the house!  They sold out the venue and did the same the previous night at Music Hall of Williamsburg.  These kids are not a flash in the pan.  It was only a few years ago that front woman Ritzy Bryan (guitar/vocals), Rhydian Dafydd (bass/backing vocals) and drummer Matthew James Thomas (drums) played the same venue to a much smaller audience.  2011 saw them promoting their debut album, The Big Roar,  which boasted the bold, radio friendly hit "Whirring".   Then the trio was reliant on heavy chords and long, free wheeling jam sessions.  That is, "Whirring" live was probably a 10 minute song.  Bryan relies heavy on feedback and sheer force on the guitar.  They are but a few chords, but they demand attention and can be most potent.  Dafydd (maybe the hardest name in rock to spell) is every bit a LEAD bassist.  Like the title of their debut record, his ax roars and sets a heavy handed tone.  And Thomas is more than capable behind the kit.  Their rise was pretty significant and before that tours end they headlined the far bigger Terminal 5 and even managed to support the Foo Fighters for a few gigs.  

In January of this year Bryan and Co. released their sophomore record, Wolf's Law.  While it might not have the extended jams and electric hooks their debut has, it is solid nonetheless.  During the nearly 1 and 1/2 hour show they showed some more versatility and growth than 2011.  Songs like "Austere" and their first single from Wolf's Law, ""This Ladder is Ours", were played tighter, and without the extended jams.  Bryan, adorned again with a little jumper and tights, thrashes around and gets the absolute most out of her tiny frame.  Her voice is commanding and she is an engaging leading lady.  At first glance she has the look of Mary Stuart Masterson's character in Some Kind of Wonderful.  She has a sweet and demure exterior.  However when the house lights go off, so does she!  That blonde pixie haircut of hers makes the whole thing even more disconcerting.  You gonna take my order or rock my socks off?  It's the latter folks.

During this tour they are mixing in some slower tempo tracks too, namely "Wolf's Law" and "The Everchanging Spectrum of Life."  Bryan is up to the task, as is her rhythm section.  But when "Wolf's Law" reaches it's fiery finish you remember why you bought the tickets.  When these three musicians lay it all on the line and play to/for the rafters, it is when they are at their best.  It can be heard toward the beginning of "A Heavy Abacus."  It can be heard as "Cradle" comes to its bombastic, howling, and supremely satisfying conclusion.

The show might have been last week.   Their have been myriad of events, both rewarding and miserable in the days that followed.  But when I think back at little Ritzy and her mates tearing the hell out of the East Village a smile comes to my face.  

Things could always be worse. 

A new phone/camera is just days away

Until then these awful photos will have to suffice

The adorable rock star, Ritzy Bryan.  

Joy Formidable, Webster Hall, 4.18.13

Setlist Joy Formidable 4.18.13

Greetings from Paradise

Let me preface this by saying I/we are most fortunate to be in Jamaica this week.  The weather is wonderful.  The people are off the charts friendly.  This place is a real treat.  We have worked plenty hard to afford the trip and time off.  It has been pretty darn good.

Now, the harsh realities.  First, one week is a long, long time to be away from reality.  When you hustle and claw each and every day it requires an effort to simply calm down.  What do you mean the phone doesn't work?  What do you mean you are supposed to just lay at the beach?  The Atlantic Ocean can really look that clear?  And it is capable of that temperature?  And where the hell are the throngs fighting for a morsel of sand?  The Jersey Shore this is not.

And we are starting to realize we are not the "all inclusive" type either.  How much do you have to drink/eat to make this concept work?  I did my fair share on Tuesday and probably had a few bottles of rum.  The result?  I don't want to drink ever again.  Let alone in the 90 degree heat surrounded by the countless European men in their banana hammocks and their odd children.  Question:  at what age should you put a bathing suit top on your daughter?  Also, what male body type, if any, should be allowed to wear a speedo?

Oh, that's another story altogether.  We are finding out we really don't like kids either.  Sure, we have one child.  And yes, we love her dearly.  But she skews older and has a couple of jaded dip shits as parents.  She can't help but hear us snicker at the foibles of every one we come across.  Oh, and she surely noticed we changes rooms today.  Yeah, we had to switch because our new neighbors had a demon spawn screaming all of last night.  It would be much easier to take a couple of newlyweds making kids rather than this kid raising holy hell.   This is a kid friendly place and we are trying to do our best.  Couples Resorts or Sandals would probably bug us too.  Maybe we should just vote ourselves off the island?

The food thing is tough to navigate too.  There are a few good spots within the resort.  In fact, we have had several quality meals at the restaurants on site.  The portions are right too.   It is the buffet that is somewhat unnerving.  The cuisine is acceptable.  The staff, as mentioned, is tremendous.  But the reality is you are sitting in a glorified mess hall.  The ocean is in view, but all you hear is the clanging of utensils.   No one needs the self serve ice cream machine either.  I can hear my jeans snickering at me already as I attempt to button them when I get back home.  Beer.  Rum.  Vodka.  Pizza.  Ice cream.  24/7.

At least there is the beach.  And again, it is spectacular.  But no one told me about the solicitors that comb the sand more than the lifeguards.  "Jetskiparasailing."  "Cigarettes."  "Needamassagebosslady?"  "Dabestweedmon?"  "Whatchaneedmon?  Coke? Weed? Pills? Shrooms?"

If I closed my eyes for a minute I could swear I was in the parking lot of a Dead show.  Oh, and I sampled some of that "best weed" too.  Um, not quite.

I face less pan handling and sales pitches on a NYC weekday.  And I pay far less for that.  I just want to lay on my chair and hear the water.  Turns out you can't really do that.

It's just a harsh reality that comes from growing up and living in the Northeast.  Oh, and being a grade A, numero uno PAIN IN THE ASS!!  And I readily own up to it.  We like what we like.  We love even less.  And when we put out money for a dream vacation we want the everything.  The biscuits and the beans.  The no drama.

It has as much to do with expectations.  Maybe we expected too much.  That is ok.  We are learning more each day.  We are probably not resort people.  We definitely are not the all inclusive type.  Jamaican people are some of the best folks we have ever met.  It has been a terrific week.  Getting home to the dirty Jerz sounds pretty good right about now.  I miss driving.  I miss our dog.  I miss hostility.  I might even miss my phone and stupid work emails.  Soon enough.

First, some more pool time and a couple more cocktails.   Liver, good sense and good health be damned!!