Oscar pre show

Decided to watch the E! Network's pre show. Totally hate Ryan Seacrest and I cannot understand how Kelly Osbourne has any fashion credibility. Giuliana Rancic is way too skinny and I am a bit nauseated by her. It would be far more entertaining to watch her eat steak after steak instead of critiquing talent. More sad that I know all about her infertility issues from her reality show. Now I am questioning my sexuality.

So I turn my attention to legitimate issues... Mila Kunis is super hot and she looks amazing. Michelle Williams is very white. Jennifer Hudson lost weight, and I an happy for her. However, you cannot be showing all those tits. Helena Bonham Carter is striking and talented, but I can't understand what she wears. Hilary Swank is looking less like Million Dollar Baby... But I still think she could fuck me up. Nicole Kidman has actually taken a downward turn with Keith Urban. Even when she was a beard for Tom Cruise I was more impressed. Feel a bit dirty that Helen Mirren turns me on. Celine Dion's accent is laughable. Every time I see Penelope Cruz I think of Fred Norris playing the chicken sound effect on the Stern show. I never quite understood the fascination with Reese Witherspoon. Same thing with Anne Hathaway. They are both fine young ladies, who have done quality work. But I really do not need to see them anymore. Scarlett Johansson I could see again. And again, and again.

And when did Gwyneth Paltrow become a rock star. More fucking nepotism! So she gets into the film business due to her mom and dad. Now, she marries Chris Martin and I have to see her perform on the Grammys AND Oscars???? I'm not having it.

Curious why Christian Bale is trying to look like me. The beard and long hair? Seems fishy. Maybe he is preparing himself for the role of his life.

Good to see Sandra Bullock. Thinking maybe she can accept an award soon and dedicate it to another tattooed guy who wants nothing to do with her.

Ok, time to parent a bit so I can watch the big show in an hour. Promises to be a good evening. Lest I forget here is my first guess: kings speech best pic, firth actor, Portman actress, Leo supporting actress, Bale supporting actor, Hooper director...

Enjoy the show.