Already thinking that lost post was miserable, self-hating propaganda. I needed it though. Now I am compelled to rant on everything else.
N feeling better and enjoying outside play. That is encouraging and she will be at school tomorrow.
She has a therapist appointment later. We are supposed to sit in with her. I am anxious to see what she says, in particular her thoughts on last night's events. I think she is a smart, mature young girl. She kept her head last night as I was being asked to pack up and leave. She wanted hugs and was the reassuring force. Maybe it was the antibiotics, but she was remarkable. Now, with a day to reflect, I wonder how I/we will fare.
After that I get to draft her softball team at the Community House. Now, this year I will be handling Head Coaching duties. Last year we had a maniac coaching(call him: Dickhead) and he is doing so again. In fact, 2 of the assistant coaches have splintered from him. So, we will all be there picking girls for a team well aware we do not like each other. And I am still probably lumped in with Dickhead from the other coaches, who hated him!!! He is ultra competitive and tries to win at all cost. Meanwhile, his girl has limited ability. He tried to steal bases on girls who could barely put on the catching equipment, let alone catch the ball and throw a bullet down the line. This is a 3rd and 4th grade recreation league. We are teaching fundamentals and basic aptitude. He wants to hit and run and was teaching walks, rather than swinging!!!
Needless to say it is going to be awkward that we are all there hating him and wanting him to kindly go away.
There will be a time when N no longer wants me to coach. I will accept it, probably sooner than later. She will need to hear many more voices than mine. It will be my job to steer her in the right directions. I need to make sure she decipher the good counsel from the bad.
For now, I rely on the professionals @ 4pm. Uh oh, therapy day I just realize. They tend not to go well.
There has got to be a time when I can reverse that trend. Can it be today????