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Sunday, November 27, 2011

Now I have to deal with an Elf???

The Thanksgiving break was indeed a relaxed and welcome one.  I trust you all had one too.

Sadly, it is over.  Groceries had to be procured earlier to fill an empty fridge.  Whistles and whiteboards were purchased in preparation for the rigors of 4th grade girls Catholic league hoops.  The garbage, laundry and schoolwork are furiously being worked on at this very moment.

And as my 9 year old glances over her math drilling and social studies assignment a 6 inch elf watches over her atop our mantle.  Apparently, as the very popular book suggests, this "Elf on the Shelf" is Santa's magical eyes and ears.  Each day Alex (the name assigned to him by said 9 year old) will monitor her behavior for adequate naughty and/or niceness.  Naturally he flies back to the North Pole every night and HAS to appear in different locations the next morning.

Will this help the morning wake up routine??  Perhaps.  "Get outta bed and find where the elf is!!!  Oh, and while you are up get in the shower, brush your teeth, put your uniform on and eat breakfast...  before 7:30!!!"

Or will it become a tedious process that prolongs the mornings events???  "Dad, where is it??  I don't have all day???  I have to get ready for school and I have been looking for 30 minutes???"

How, at age 9, did we NOW start another tradition???  How does she still believe???

In an age where she was making parody videos of me grilling dinner earlier tonight and uploading them to Youtube she really believes this little thing bought at the gangster mall Hallmark Store contains magic that allows it to fly thousands of miles away and report the days event to a lovable fat man keeping score????

She watched StepBrothers with me at age 6.  She was Chucky for Halloween.  She turned me on to Foster the People and Nicky Minaj!!!

She uses chopsticks and knows what the F word is, although not what it means.  For now.

Is she still innocent enough to think mom and dad are NOT taking digital pictures at Dick's for themselves; but rather to text Santa later???

Amazing!  And wonderful!

So, our new tenant will find himself moving throughout our modest house starting tonight.  Because really, in this jaded and cynical world the goal is to keep our youth as innocent as possible for as long as possible.

She need not know that mom and dad are a bit concerned about cell phones and lap tops on the list.  She should believe in the magic of the elf and his jolly boss.  Why the hell not???

Soon enough she will be caught up with puberty, and cliques, and all that adolescence brings.  Ugh.  Think she will want to spend any time with dad then???  I have a healthy fear of the Youtube videos she will be creating then.  I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat wondering if she is filming/recording me singing in the shower.  Worse, I fear a video like that will have far more hits than any of my writing.

For now bring on the Elf and all his goodness.

After all this is the time of magic, right???  It need not happen at Toys R Us.  It can be found in a child's innocence and faith.  No telling when that magic ends these days.  It seems sooner and sooner in just about everything.

Looks like we bought (literally!!  Book and doll were like $30!!!) another year round these parts.  I'm hanging on for dear life...  hope you are too.

Makes getting up on a Monday and commencing with reality a bit more palatable...  if ever so slightly.



POST SCRIPT:


After writing this I entered the living room where the wife and child had worked out a "good system"


During commercial breaks from "Sex and the City" they were doing math.  Hmm, what does the elf think of this???  Does her innocence stand a chance?  


Unknown.  Oh wait, she just asked me for a Guinness...  gotta run...




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