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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Do I need tickets?

The other day I drove by a billboard, yes billboard, suggesting Jesus is returning Saturday the 21st.  Where have I been???  Is he playing the Meadowlands?  Yankee Stadium?  I have an invite to a friends party...  do I cancel and await special word from his holiness, the Messiah.  King of Kings.  God's only Son sent to free us from sin and return us to Salvation.

Wait, there is another billboard at the next bus stop...  says the World is gonna end 5.21.11.  Damn, now I am confused.  Do I tell my friends to have the party Friday so we can go out like rock stars before our Earthly remains are obliterated?  Should I start partying now?  Does that mean my softball season is over and we can be co-champions with our 7-0 record?  Now I have to really focus on a Bucket List.  And with such little time.  How have I missed all of this???

Oh, right, cause it is all complete and utter nonsense.  If Jesus were coming Saturday I am most certain he would not outsource some housewife in Livingston to pay for billboard space.  He would, I think, simply grab the mic from Seacrest and represent.  "People of Earth, I come to rock this be-och."  That might be pushing it, but you get the point.  I love that people believe in things.  I will never take anything away from those who find comfort and joy in believing in something or someone.

However, when that belief infringes on me and what I believe and/or want I am out the door.  Sadly, the problem only seems to be growing.  Muslims and Jews will never tolerate one another.  Catholics and Protestants are much the same.  Throw in some land debates and watch as the pious masses head to their gun rack.  Got a feeling Muhammed and Jesus might take issue with folks launching hand held rockets at one another cause Yusef thinks Timmy roots for the wrong Savior.

What fascinates me most is when folks hide under their Religion to further political causes.  Do I need Mick Huckabee or Mitt Romney to tell a young woman what to do with her unborn fetus?  Does the bible mention abortion for that matter?  It probably does.  But who has time to read that book?  See how big it is?  I am lucky to get through the front page of my TMZ app.

We can all come up with various theories and scenarios explaining why and when the World will end.  Some signs exist that it already has.  The Red Sox won two Championships in my lifetime.  People pay to party with the Kardashian sisters.  Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have spilt up cause my boy fathered a child with a staff member.  Ashton Kutcher continues to get work.   The signs are all there people.

Or, you could continue living life like you do every day.  Watch, as Sunday rolls around and all is just as it was before.  Pollen fills your sinuses.  Lawn work begs to be done.  Grocery shopping.  Soccer games in East Jabip.  Bills to be paid.

Hmmm, maybe I could start buying into this End of Days theory.  Or maybe I am just bitter cause therapy awaits tonight.  On the bright side, might be last week.

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