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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Spring Break?

The Gods have certainly gotten back at me today and tomorrow ain't looking that great either.  Still stinging from a a raucous and emotional few days of DC, NYC, work, entertaining and a tear filled therapy session...  I got to spend a rainy day home with a vacationing 8 year old today.  And she was not in the mood for television, or reading, or anything for that matter.   Turns out playing Nerf basketball in the office is most fun.  When that gets boring she tried to put Yankee jerseys on our 16 year old cat.  And now, finally, she is making stop/action movies with her Flip Camera.  I have hidden upstairs and can only assume the cat is not being abused.  But since I have gotten the past few sentences off without hearing anguished meows I think we are good.

And when I talk about the Gods getting back at me it has everything to do with my Catholic School education.  I remember all my Public school friends hating me for all the days we had off.  Now, here I am.  Taking business calls with the sound of Cee Lo Green in the distant.  Reaching for pens to take messages and soon realzing I am holding a shock pen bought yesterday in a NYC novelty store.  My thumb still stings.  Should have known when I tripped over my wife's boots as I got up from bed this morning that I should phone this one in.  I make Jack Tripper look like Borishnakov.  Who makes these school schedules anyway??  How is America supposed to get back to the forefront when I am staring at 10 days off in 3 weeks.  And the Public schools have this week off too.  My issue is the 4 days off for Easter!!!  4 days on the tail end of a week off???  It's ok I guess.  What's income when you are living in one of the most affluent areas in America???  I am sorry if we are a 2 income family.  Had I known the score when we moved here I would have stayed in Wilkes-Barre and drank myself to death.  Ok, that's a bit dramatic, but you get my drift.

I was able to spend a quality hour with the little one watching "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" last night.  She was more than compelled.  A few things.  1) Why do we have to be subjected to English chefs coming over here and telling us how to run our kitchens and cities???  If it's not Gordon Ramsey or Curtis Stone...  Can Bobby Flay stop mugging for the camera to take on a more meaningful role please?  I would ask Mario Batali but I think he should hit the treadmill first before spreading himself too thin.  Pun intended.

Don't get me wrong, Oliver's mission is genuine and I can get behind it.  We do, as a Nation, eat like uneducated Neandrathals.  His idea of entering the LA Public School system and changing their overall philosophy is beyond admirable.  But 2.) Does Ryan Seacrest have to be involved?   Ok, that is a non-sequitor, but I do find him grating.  The gratuitous radio show segment on last night's episode was nauseating and unnecessary.  Oliver has his points though.  Do schools really need to serve flavored milk?  They do not do that in Europe, as he pointed out with an over the top demonstration.  Somehow Europe seems to be doing ok.  The obesity issue is one that will not be gone anytime soon.  And as my daughter said, astutely, "why would the Board not want him in their kitchens?  Cause of Money?"  I grinned and agreed.  Glad she realizes it so soon.  Someone is always on the take.  And change, as President Obama can tell you, does not happen without resistance.

And I promise when I watch next week I will not eat a giant plate of nachos.   It is a worthwhile premise and worth watching with young ones as a cautionary tale.  Scared Straight Fatso edition.

Odds and Ends:
Can we please stop airing ALL State Farm ads and Dominos Tate's Chicken ads???  What exactly are we selling here?  If I get in an accident on the Pulaski and say "Like a good neighbor..."  NOTHING WILL HAPPEN!!!  My thoughts are I would enter a calling cue and, after several minutes on hold, would be given a day/window several days from the event that an adjuster would come by and assess the damage.  Hot chicks from other apartments, sandwiches and Bob Barker would never be in the scenario.  Please go back to telling me rates, and how many people you insure.  Fantasies like the ones you are showing make me long for lizards with accents.

And Domino's with their Rate Tate's Chicken boxes...  ugh.  It is bad enough that there pizza is character-less crap (Where are you Jamie Oliver???)...  now they have to enter the chicken market.  And I have to see some punk chef break open one of his quality nuggets and provide me with a close-up.  Um, thanks but I am not having it.  If I could only get my hands on all the boxes sans chicken.  I would rate it PLEASE STOP!!!  He actually says "It's all white meat, not bits and stuff."  If you say bits, I am thinking bits.  Stick to the bad pizza and unfullfilled get there in a half hour promises.

While I am ranting I have to admit to schadenfreude to the 100th power.  Yes, Rory McElroy you made my Sunday.  Brash and overconfident he strode to the 64th hole of the Masters poised for a historic victory.  But, as I keep telling my daughter, no one remembers how you start...  they always remember how you finish.  So trees came in play and an ego was drowned in Ray's Creek, like so many before.  Now, perhaps some hubris in this young lad's future.  Maybe now he will realize sometimes you are playing opponent's as much as the course.  And they tend to want it just as much as you do.  He is a kid and certain to win some nice hardware in his future.  But leave it to a straight laced, unheralded South African to teach him talent is not the only thing that captures trophies.  Well done, Charl.  But we will have to do something about that name.

Enough negativity for one entry??  I can bring more.  But, alas, gotta run to Morristown in an attempt to find just the right math tutor.  I would rant about money and this and that, but truth be told I would do anything to ensure my daughter's success.  Getting to school this week would be tops on my list. 

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