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Saturday, April 2, 2011


For one thing, I should be sleeping.  It seems the house is still filled with sickness, and both my wife and daughter are in bed fighting it off.   At 18 months our little girl has been in either full time daycare or school, with an aftercare program.  Never has she been sick as long for such an extended period of time.  And, well after a week, she is still not 100%.  I am close to 100%.  But after a week battling ever changing weather, and work, and family, and NJ Transit, and you name it, the MRS. may be next.  Pizza and soup failed to life her spirits and physical well being.  Now, as the weekend looms, the unknown.  Will she be laid up for a week now?  Will this illness haunt our house forever?  Should I hire a HAZMAT team to disinfect the house?  An exorcist?

And I am now juggling tutors and make-up tests like a bad Atlantic City magician.  Several emails sent to N's teacher wondering how we are going to make up assignments before next Friday, the last day of the semester.  And mind you, she just missed one of the last full weeks of school remaining.  Spring break is 4.11 thru the 18th.  Easter is the week after so naturally she has most of the week off, and the following Monday...  Then May, then done...

Mother of God I need a more aggressive school schedule.  11 months, 9 hours a day sounds about right.  And it is not because I am trying to get rid of my daughter.  I spent 4 days home with her this week and she is a wonderful, smart, funny young lady.  But she is a lot like me.  And a lot like the Mrs.  I now have to watch EVERYTHING I say when watching tv with her.  She has become the arbiter of taste and judgement during every program.  "That girl looks weird."  "This show is stupid."  "Why are you crying dad?  It's just a movie."  Yeah, that was her take when we watched "Hoosiers" tonight.  I guess her busting my balls during this classic was better than me dying a slow death watching "Hop" at the Multiplex.

After she raged before going to bed, because she insisted on throwing a plastic basketball off our walls after we implored her not to, we again had to discuss anger management options.  Therapy again?  Medication?  Could it simply be she is stir crazy from being trapped in this tiny, germ infested house for over a week???  I know I am.

And a night out is what is planned for tomorrow night.  But will we all be healthy enough to do it?  Supposed to see "Win/Win" with the blue hairs around 6pm.  Then a local bar to see a friends band, watch hoops.  A big question mark as I write this.  I guess just like everything.

And I have questions...

Why does my babysitter get more hourly than I do?
Why does my new car not show me which direction I am driving?  Or have a button inside the vehicle to open the trunk?
What does the State Farm ad campaign mean?  Can there be some reality please????  No one is saying "Like a good neighbor" and making Bob Barker show up.  What, the reality of a customer calling their agent on the side of the road and being placed in a calling cue isn't glamorous enough???
Since when did girl scout cookies taste like shit?  Used to look forward to a ThinMint.  No more.  And the box is no bigger than an Animal Crackers box.  Like the Woody Allen joke...  "Food was awful, and in such small portions."
When will the Astros bring me a World Series?
Will I have a full head of gray hair before years end?
Should I have a yard sale or go all Ebay with the crap in my basement?
Where does Gaddafi get his clothing?  His plastic surgery?  And why so many god damn ways to spell his name???
How can I use Twitter to my advantage?
Is anyone reading this?  Should I be worried if they are?
Does anybody really know what time it is?  Does anyone really care?

Saturday is upon me and maybe I am just ready to tackle it head on.  Let's hope I can keep my head up and not end up immobilized carted off the field.

I would urge you to take a look at this video and find some inspiration.  I know it has helped me.  Ok, bad example.

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