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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Hollywood's Biggest Night (Recap)

Morgan Freeman opens the show. Shouldn't he be getting busy dying?

Chapter 11 theatre is good line from Crystal. He does seem at ease hosting this event.

Song and dance number has it's moments, but it may be time to retire it.

Hanks seat filler bit is officially the first superfluous bit.

Italy getting love in Hollywood is a good thing. Hooray for Hugo and it's Cinematography/Art Direction awards.

Why would anyone want to boycott JC Penney because of Ellen DeGeneres? Her commercials do more to harm the brand than help it.  Let her do the work of burying that company.  It's called being unfunny.

Let's go to movies segment is cut number that was not made. Who is this for exactly? We have all seem these moments countless times. "We are gonna need a bigger boat.". Ugh.

The costume design/makeup nominations were handled well. Good hearing the actors talk about the process adn those behind it.

Why JLo? What is her contribution to film? And don't say Out of Sight or Money Train!!!

The single camera interviews with the likes of Ben Stiller, Brad Pitt and especially Helen Mirren worked well. Although Adam Sandler's inclusion is mystifying. We don't need him talking about Sean Connery. Especially after Jack and Jill set movie making back decades. Check the inter web to verify Erroll Morris directed these vignettes.  It has his fingerprints and would explain why they are so good. Simple and compelling like all his work.

Sandra Bullock speaking German and giving Foreign Language award makes no sense. Then again, Sandra Bullock becoming a star is dumb founding.  Where is a runaway bus when you need one?

Leave it to liberal LA present an Oscar to an Iranian film. Johnny Depp and Sean Penn should have presented.  Good speech by the filmmaker though.

Hard to look at Christian Bale without thinking of his rant from Terminator. And what is with the feedback on the microphones???

Liked Octavia Spencer and The Help... but hard to single out one performance in that decidedly ensemble film. Bridesmaids however was Melissa McCarthy's coming out party. She was robbed. Emma Stone's weak starring turn made Spencer (and Viola Davis work) look stronger.

Wizard of Oz bit fell very flat. Makes me rethink my love of Christopher Guest and his work. As is the case every year way too much patting on back. Aren't the awards enough?..

Wife wondered if the sound editor winners could fix the microphones on stage. Agree!!!

Steve Martin onTwitter: comedy never wins. Dramatic poop scene wins over comedy poop scene.

The cirque du solei folks are crazy talented. But this plays far better to those in attendance. And the one reaction shot is George Clooney. Of course. Let the guy breath.

Robert Downey steals scenery wherever he is.

Emma Stone clearly drunk and having fun. Those are the moments that can liven up this bland and predictable event.  This stuffy affair can learn from the Grammys. Loosen up a bit folks you're making movies not curing cancer. Art has a soft side. Billy Crystal is trying his hardest but he is overmatched.

Christopher Plummer was amazing in the underrated and underseen Beginners. Good for him! What a wonderful career and a splendid speech. See this picture please.

Is anyone watching OWN? How long before Oprah has a daytime network show again?

Academy President speech deserved Crystal's mocking. More unnecessary self gratifying horse<|^*!

2 hours in and the sound is still not fixed. Crazy. Embarrassing. Mess.

Can a year go by that John Williams isn't nominated for Best Score?

Could the NBA All star game have more drama? Sad I am even asking.

Ferrell and Galifinakis unfunny... but seeing Bret McKenzie win is most rewarding. Big props for Flight of the Conchords!!

Plenty of leg from Ms Jolie Pitt. Too bad she tongues her brother and had Sling Blades blood around her neck.  And all the kids... And her skinny arms scare me a bit. Eating disorder?

Descendants writer goofing on Jolie's pose was a nice touch.

Love that Woody Allem won. Love that he never goes to the event. Hate the man all you want, and he has given you reason, I get it. But his work, and work ethic, cannot be ignored. Midnight in Paris was fun, smart, and entertaining. Most filmmakers these days settle for one of those formulas and pray for success. Allen does things his way and does not look back. Bravo.

The tech awards are always awkward. Milla Jovoich could not even spruce them up. But boy is she a looker. Do people still say that?

The presentation of short subject documentaries might be longer than the films themselves.

Is it Pakistan or Bokeestan?

Popcorn gals in the aisles and violins in balconies are odd at best.

Michael Douglas looks good. Here is hoping he will not parade himself out there post stroke a la his father... Or Dick Clark. Go out on a high note.

When the frog wins for directing that makes the night anti climatic. Artist will win Best Film... frog will win Best actor... Snore.

Most of what America pays money to view on big screens is loud comic book action. A silent black and white film has captured Hollwoods attention.  Weird indeed, but somehow encouraging. Maybe it is about time we turn down the volume. Michael Bay made his money. He can retire, right? And take Jerry Bruckheimer with you!

Oprah has an Oscar??? What kind of photos does she have of the Hollywood elite?

Classy piece on all those who died last year. Esperanza Spaldings live version of "It's a Wonderful World" was a nice touch (as was her fro!!) Liz Taylor and Whitney Houston stood out. Although Columbo is close behind. It's 11:10 and to this point the show is underwhelming to say the least. Overlong. Lacking energy. In other words it is playing like most of Hollywoods product. Where have all the editors gone??? It's a school night folks.

Interviews from Precious and Julia Roberts? Now we are reaching. Oh right, they either have Oscars or have been nominated.  Edit that line please.

Patton Oswalt spotting. Thanks Academy.

Best Actor award and sound is still flawed. Not that anyone cares to hear Natalie Portman wax poetic about the 5 nominees. Just show the clips and announce the winners!! "Brad, you're charisma alone...". Puke.

What will you remember from the Frenchman's acceptance speech? Electric violin from balcony, right?

Colin Firth makes the talk ups look seamless and does it with charm and wit.  Damn those Brits!!

Jersey Girl Streep takes home another one.  But it is a shame Glenn Close has never won an Oscar.  She didn't really kill the bunny ya know.

And that's it...  The Artist wins in a very diverse year.  Hugo got some trophies.  Descendants scored a bit.  All and all an equitable, predicatable, boring affair.

Why bother?

It's what we do.  Look at the spectacle then knock it down.  Like the many movies we have seen or will see.

Planning my next trip to the overpriced cinema now.  And make no mistake I will be tuned into to next years bloated telecast awarding everyone for their "work."

For now I get some sleep and think of the real work that has to get done.  Quotes.  Purchase Orders.  Trains. Automobiles.  Moneyball.  The Help.

Anyone buying a script loosely based on this "so called life?"  Seems like a pretty good way to make a living.

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