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Friday, June 8, 2012

The News of the Day

On this glorious Friday afternoon you really shouldn't be sweating the small stuff, should you?

So the Heat destroyed the Celtics last night and forced a pivotal game 7.  That is good for the sport, right?
Isn't Lebron James due?  What is his biggest crime after all?  He left Cleveland?  Um, he did his time.  Guys gotta eat and feed his family.  Cleveland was only offering like, 100 gazillion over 10 years or something crazy like that.  An NBA Story... must be bored

The chase for the Triple Crown took a beating moments ago when it was announced Derby and Preakness winner I'll Have Another has pulled out of the Belmont.  How many will show now that the race is beyond ordinary?  What of all those hats that now will go unworn by countless pretentious women?  No Triple Crown again

And on this beautiful Northeastern morning the lip synching, gyrating and women punching Chris Brown entertained tens of thousands(!) on NBC's Today Show.  So the NBC early show reported prior to Matt Lauer, Ann Curry, et al gushed over this thug.  We here at GTS ain't buying it.  Nor should you.

Don't give me the "He paid the price, and admitted guilt, and everyone is entitled to a mistake" crap either.  Just last year he threw a child like fit on ABC's morning show due to host Robin Roberts (a cancer survivor for God's sake!) asking about his incident with Rhianna.  He shattered glass and stormed off like a kid who didn't get his way.  Does this sound like the behavior of a remorseful man?  Do we think he has been rehabilitated enough that the thought of him raising a hand to a woman is unheard of?

And just last month at the Billboard awards he was heavily criticized for lip synching during his '"live" performance.  Of course this is not the same as assaulting a woman.  But it speaks to his overall lack of integrity.  Explain again how he gets the Today Show audience but Ashlee Simpson was never heard from again after her SNL debacle years ago?  Why do we continue to reward his abhorrent behavior?  Why Chris Brown sucks:  Exhibit A   Exhibit B Exhibit C  and finally Chris Rock on Chris Brown...  Glad someone remembers

Finally the Miss USA pageant was in the news.

That's right, they still do these things.  Essentially it is a vehicle for Donald Trump, Andy Cohen and Giuliana Rancic to stay on television and create a buzz for themselves.  We keep watching it so they keep cashing pay checks.

But the real story is Miss Pennsylvania asserting the whole thing was rigged (sour grapes story here) Really?  A contest judged by humans based on looks, talent and, well, not really sure what else?  Do we expect Miss Rhode Island to write code for Microsoft?  Hell, maybe that is a good idea.

Picture the contest played out like the scene in Social Network where Zuckerberg is looking for recruits to take to Palo Alto.

50 girls (ok, Puerto Rico can come too...) dressed in bikinis situated around a series of desktop computers.  Each of them has a bottle of liquor (they can pick their poison) and a shot glass.  Andy Cohen can ask each one a question and they can surf the web to find an answer.  The first one to ring in  wins the round and moves on.  Everyone else takes a shot.  Move on until you have 1 girl remaining.

Absurd you say? Hardly.

Any contest that parades women and asks on lookers to decide on the best is downright loony.  And yes, we are especially talking to you pageant mom, toddlers and tiaras, etc!!!  It's bad enough that young girls are constantly reviewed and judged by their peers (happens in adulthood too lest we forget.)  Is it really necessary to televise contests determining which women has more worth?   Let's be honest for a moment.  The judges aren't really listening to the answers anyway.  In fact the judges should go right to the lowest circle of Dante's hell.  Arsenio Hall is not only winning fake apprenticeships but he can also determine who is MSA?

Better if the contests were all single moms working two jobs.  Then they can compete in a survivor like game show pitting them against one another.  50 women who have to feed, dress and take kids to different morning stops each day.  For instance, Pam has to get her daughter Jasmine to day care and drop off Timmy at Kindergarten.  Then back through town to either an office or restaurant.  If you choose restaurant the contestant must serve 100 customers at a diner.  In office, the women must complete 100 Word and/or Excel documents.

Once finished they must go the gym for a half hour workout, pick up groceries and dry cleaning.  Off to pick up the kids, make dinner, shower and put on their best to make a 6pm talent show their oldest is in.  First one to get in their seat wins.

That's no fun is it.

Of course it isn't.  But, like watching Chris Brown in record numbers, we eat this nonsense up too.

My colleague Doc S is quick to point out the networks are only concerned with gathering advertisers at any and all expense.  Audience is key and taste be damned!  It is why he has abandoned the tv news and entertainment industry long ago.  Boy is he right.

We are better than this.  Time to turn this crap off.

But we can still watch Modern Family and Parks and Rec, right?

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