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Tuesday, January 8, 2013


There is probably nothing more embarrassing than a grown man going to the doctor.

"Poor baby has a runny nose?"  "Does his throat hurt?"  "Headache too much too take?"

Yeah, that was me yesterday.  It seems I am not alone.  Will the winter of 2013 be remembered as the year of illness?  Friends, family and work associates have seemingly all been hit by whatever the hell is going around these days.  It had made its way around my household for most of the Holiday break before landing firmly in and around my face.

I can usually handle a cold, cough or general malaise.  In fact general malaise and I are tied at the hip.  But when the pain lands directly behind my eyes, then prevents me from sleeping (even for an hour!!!) I reluctantly raise the white flag.

The doctor visit is a shame fest.  How much do you weigh?  When was your last physical?  Describe the symptoms please?  I attempted to class things up by sitting in the guest chair during the evaluation.  I have been to enough wellness visits with my daughter to know how humiliating that is.  The thought of my feet dangling when my physician checks my ears and throat is horrifying.  We all know it was a last resort.  The good doctor is looking at my chart.  She knows I rarely come.  Write the script and let me go.  Who cares if it is viral and the antibodies may not be affected.  The point is even a regulated placebo gives me the mental confidence to fool my body into believing things will get better.

Work cannot be missed like this.  But note, work MUST be missed in this case.  What am I proving going into NYC today when I am clearly ill?  The folks on the train will not like it.  My office mates do not deserve it.  Guys, if you are not 100 % and even a remote chance of being contagious it is imperative you take the day to get better.  Or 2 days!  Better, take as long as you need to rid yourself of this demon illness.  It seems to last for a solid week, if not more.  It manifests itself in various ways, be it flu, cold, viral.  It is nasty and worthy of your attention.

Keep washing your hands too.  Say what you will about gun control, fiscal crises, and war.  In my opinion an airborne or other type of communicable disease will most likely cause human extinction.  If we fail to keep ourselves clean and careful this event is a lot closer than I would like to believe.  I know that is grim, but with 41 states calling this years flu an epidemic I think the topic warrants concern.

In other news, illness that lays me up is the best husband job security a man could ever have.  And remember, my husbandry does not include "bread winning."  But one day of "bread winning" coupled with packing lunches, dropping off at school, administering medicine, teacher conferencing, feeding dinner, helping with homework, tending to pets, cleaning dishes, car pooling for practices, training at the gym, feeding snack, putting to bed the Mrs has emphatically stated she CANNOT be a single parent.  Hats of to any of you who engage in such activity.  We have one child and have the flexibility to be very present while both working.  How does one do it with more than one child and less than two parents???  I is amazing and beyond admirable I tell ya.

Today I am on day 2 on antibodics and things appear to be getting back to normal.  Hell, tomorrow I might even go to work for the first time in 2013.  

Here is hoping you all get through healthy, happy and a little wiser.  But once the first symptom appears make yourself scarce.  And give me a yell because I have just the cure to get you through the couch time.  Hint: it's a lot of music and bad tv.  

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