A Weekend in Brooklyn and A Lifetime of Memories

The Head and The Heart, Prospect Park Bandshell 7.27.12.  photo credit: my 10 year old daughter

See above description

Brooklyn Bowl Wall Art

Brooklyn Bowl Bathroom Reception Mural Art

The Denzels

The Denzels, Brooklyn Bowl, 7.28.12

Stage Area light show, Brooklyn Bowl

see above

Pre show, Skaters setlist under mic

what ^ said

Skaters next several shots:  Brooklyn Bowl, 7.28.12

Caveman, Brooklyn Bowl, 7.28.12

This space has devoted much of its space trying to introduce its readers to new finds in and around the world of contemporary popular music.   It is, by all accounts, a tough sell.

Once you have a family of your own and are fully entrenched in your cultural habits it is near impossible to break out from your comfort zone.  Truth is, there are many, many folks who could care less about live music and the experience therein.  To suggest seeing a band sight/sound unknown at a venue several miles away is, for many, the equivalent of water boarding.  "You want me to see who?  where??"

For those of you brave enough to step out from wall to wall Michael Phelps coverage or, gasp, Colorado shooting coverage, may we suggest a trip to a live concert?

Better yet, can we suggest the Borough of Brooklyn?

Last weekend there were two free events that once again cemented Manhattan's hipster brother as a legitimate force in the live music scene.

Friday, July 27th Seattle folk-rock act The Head and The Heart headlined a free show, their biggest event to date, at Park Slope's Prospect Park.  Did you know that Prospect Park is 545 acres or so?  Manhattan's Central Park is about 800 or so.  Get the picture?  It's friggin big.  There is plenty to do  even without the music.  Just ask my daughter who raided the waffles and ice cream truck on Prospect Park West and 9th St.  Yeah, that's right...  my 10 year old came with and enjoyed the heck out of it.  You can bring your own food, and games, and lawn chairs.  They provide beer and Brooklyn eatery The Farm on Adderly (http://thefarmonadderley.com/) does a wonderful job with the food.  Try the fries!  You will not be disappointed.  Oh, and then there was the music.

The Head and The Heart (http://www.theheadandtheheart.com/) have done an admirable job promoting their self titled debut album.  It is a mix of bluegrass, folk, country, pop and rock.  The tones are easy and so is the listening.  On Friday they played through the record with relative ease.  It was nothing earth shattering or jaw dropping.  Rather, a nice collection of tracks that breezed through the trees and gave the 5000 or so folks in attendance a reason to smile...  and forget they were mere miles from the center of the Financial Universe.  "Lost in My Mind," 'Couer d'Alene," "Ghosts," and "Rivers and Roads" were songs that had the most power.  Singer/guitarist Jonathan Russell played the first encore, "Honey Come Home, " alone with just his acoustic guitar.  It was ambitious and kept the crowd engaged, although it carried on a bit too long.  And their brilliant "Down in the Valley" was disappointing as the finale due to some minor missteps during the final few notes.  Overall a talented and worthy group of musicians with a big, bright future.

The Chapel Hill, NC orchestral/pop/rock/alt outfit Lost in the Trees (http://www.facebook.com/lostinthetrees)opened with a quiet, rather benign 45 minute set.  They mixed tuba with strings.  They mixed guitars and vocals.  It is indeed a unique sound.  Big and brash at times then quiet as a church interlude the next moment.  At Prospect Park, in the bright sunshine, they seemed too shy or reserved.  This was more apparent when The Head and The Heart took stage.  These guys have 2 LPs under their belt and still need to craft their stage presence.  They sound bigger on record.  That can change.  Here is hoping it does.  "Walk Around the Lake" and "Neither Here Nor There" are your recommended downloads.

The next night New York's own Caveman (http://cavemantheband.com/) headlined a showcase (sponsored by Ralph Lauren Denim Supply) at the wonderful venue Brooklyn Bowl.  This blog has been a huge fan of Caveman and you can read plenty of accounts on them if you do a quick search.    Over a year and a half from their first live gig it may be time to get a little critical of these guys.  And this isn't really a knock on them as a band.  They can rock a live show and have a great debut record that, far as it seems, has gone mostly unnoticed.  The Head and The Heart played to a full Prospect Park.  Real Estate has dominated the alt radio for well over a year with a sound and record equal to or lesser than Caveman's CoCo Beware.

This either speaks to their management and/or PR team.  They, like other NY'ers and fellow underrated act White Rabbits, should be bigger!!!  Sidenote, Matt Clark from White Rabbits played a mean drum along with Caveman at this show.  The issue is Caveman are recording a second album this summer.  They were not on the festival circuit and may have put themselves in a tough spot.  Their debut record is beyond solid and they seem ready to abandon it.

Look at a band like AWOLNation.  They have been supporting their debut album for 2 years steady.  Grouplove has been on the road for well over a year with 10 songs.  They were the undercard for Young the Giant in January...  headlined Webster Hall in June... and will headline Terminal 5 in November.

That is the progression!!!  Play that beoch until your audience is so sick of it they are demanding new material.  Sell your tracks to Madison Ave (they did land an NYC promo).  Play gigs til you can't stand up!

And that is not to say the three or four new tracks Caveman are working into their set aren't winners, they are.  We just aren't ready to move past "Old Friend," or "Thankful," or "My Time" yet.  

Brooklyn based Skaters played a thrashing and highly energetic set leading up to Caveman.  They describe their sound as "humblecore."  Unpretentious lyrics played over heavy drum beats and a variety of guitar tones.  Got it?  They released an EP in March and are poised to make a splash.  Michael Ian Cummings sings, and sings well.  Drummer Noah Rubin(late of the Dead Trees) is an absolute beast behind the drum kit.  Guitarist Joshua Hubbard (late of The Paddingtons and Dirty Pretty Things) is a commanding, forceful presence.  They are hard to describe, but a pleasure to hear.

The real star of the evening was the venue, Williamsburg's Brooklyn Bowl(http://www.brooklynbowl.com/.) This place is so hard to describe it is best to just urge, neigh, implore you to check it out.  Is it a bowling alley?  Concert venue?  First rate place for pub grub?  All of the above?  Maybe.  One thing it isn't: ordinary.  New York Magazine described it like this:

"To a neighborhood already jammed with hybrid entertainment ventures—think McCarren Park Pool’s music and dodgeball and Slip ’n Slide or Barcade’s drinking and video games—add the bowling-dining-music combo Brooklyn Bowl. It’s set in a renovated Williamsburg iron foundry and is the city’s first LEED-certified green bowl-o-drome. Sixteen lanes are joined by a restaurant and cocktail bar, bowlers’ lounge, and music stage. Traditional rock shows are on the docket, along with monthly open-jam sessions. The food is a draw in itself: It’s Blue Ribbon Brasserie, which plans dressed-up bowling fare and French-bread pizzas. — Robin Raisfeld and Rob Patronite"

It can get crowded and you might feel boxed in on the concert floor.  But, you can also spend five hours there and smile every moment.  Put your name in for an alley and bowl a few frames too.  Big screen tv's were showing old cartoons (Wile E, Bugs, Daffy) as well as Red Sox v Yankees.  The prices were reasonable too as they make an effort to keep everything local (including the beer, from Brooklyn Brewing around the corner.)

Give a yell if you want the best way in from NJ or PA...  park for free on the streets and buckle up for an above average adventure.  Thinking about chartering a bus for these such events.  Any interest???  

So much good stuff out there...  and when the price of admission is free, how can you go wrong???

See you next time, right?

Greetings from Canada, Photography Edition

Turns out Canada is a legitimate Country.  It has its own currency (where the US dollar is weak, duh!)  They don't sell unsweetened iced tea anywhere.  They don't like skim milk.  They don't carry Stoli Orange.  You can't find a decent shoe store anywhere.  They only have 32 subway stops!  Wait, this sounds like my wife's blog.  Anyway, Toronto is a special City and the folks up North are kind and friendly.  At least the folks we met (in bars, restaurants, concert halls, museums, bars and restaurants.  A full post is out there somewhere...  but for now here are some photos from the event.  Looking forward to the next visit North!  After all, where else can you hear strangers say "Scorcher, eh?"  Apologies for all the concert shots...  but damn we were close!  And Gomez rocked as usual!!!

Niagara Falls, Canada

CN Center.  Toronto

AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) Tremendous Picasso exhibit

Distillery District, Toronto.  Hip little place.

Toronto's adorable Flatiron Building

City Hall, Toronto

Lion and Lamb at Justice Center, Toronto.  Does the Lamb really have a chance??

Kensington Market, Toronto.  Sketchy little hippie area.

Quiet Corral, Mod Club.  Terrific 6 piece band from Lawrence, Kansas,  Rock. Chalk. Jayhawk!

Gomez here and below.  

Horseshoe Falls, Niagara

View from Breakfast

Gone Curling...

This blogger is making his way to Canada for a week or so.  Hoping to get a first hand look at this health system everyone raves about.  Maybe I never return.  The thought of saying "aboot" rather than "about" does have a certain appeal.

Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Wayne Gretzky, and probably some others all hail from there, right?  That's pretty cool.

Can Sarah Palin see it from her window?

Whatever the case may be it is going to be great to get the hell out of the dirty Jerz.

Catch up soon.

Hey, fellow bloggers, now would be a good time to submit something to fill the void, eh?

In the meantime like our Facebook page for some Northern updates:  GTS on FB

Sounds of Summer 2012, Part 3

"There is someone here who laughs too hard at everything."  That might be the best lyric of 2012 so far. (as written/performed by Swedish alt top act Miike Snow from their precocious and toe tapping single "Paddling Out.")

This humble blog has a tendency to do that.  We giggled a bit when JLO and Steven Tyler both left American Idol this week.  Perhaps, we hoped, that God forsaken show will fade into our memories and folks can start recognizing the talent already out there.  You know, the kids who have been busting their asses touring 10 months a year.  The kids not worrying about their stylist or image.  Rather, they go about their business perfecting their craft.  They play small clubs to rabid fans in hopes of landing a commercial or soundtrack spot.  These days that is the best way to make coin in the music business.  Hell even the American Idol's fail to bring home big paychecks.

And don't give me Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood either.  They are supreme talents who deserve all the acclaim they receive.  But for every Clarkson and Underwood I raise you a Ruben Studdard or Taylor Hicks, Kris Allen, and Lee DeWyze.  Those guys are poster children for how the big talent shows FAIL as indicators of commercial success.  They may have had some flashing appeal and/or a few hits.  But you could argue their successes could have been achieved with or without Idol.  After all, we live in a World that helped Taco, Rockwell, Right Said Fred, Kajagoogoo, Baja Men, and many more 1 hit wonders grab their collective fifteen minutes.  There is no shortage of hits, and hit-makers, making music today.

Popular music is as much as about the image, timing and marketing behind the song/artist as it does with the song/artist him/herself.

It is the intention of this space to remind readers that there are options.  Strip away the packaging and focus group research and you might just find some hidden gems.  Allow me to take a look at today's Billboard Top 10 and offer some healthy alternatives.  Interested?  Scared?  It's ok, you can do it.

#10 Billboard track:   "Starships" by Nicky Minaj  Minaj has a certain something.  Her disastrous Grammy performance aside she has been chruning out catch dance tracks the past few years.  She runs the risk of becoming too gimmicky with the cartoon voice, wigs and overall wacky persona.  Take away all the goofiness and look here for another single lady doing weird stuff.  It's Canadian Clair Boucher, or alter ego Grimes.  Big synths, weird hair and a personality that won't quit.  Sound Familiar?  "Genesis" Grimes From Jools Holland show April, 2012  Probably more performance art than music/rock and roll.  Still pretty darn cool.

#9 Billboard Track:  "Titanium" David Guetta featuring Sia  Everyone likes a dj these days.  Mr Guetta  has done quite nicely mixing beats and bringing aboard super talent to sing.  Long before Sia became our latest Nelly Furtado she was the voice that fronted indie darlings Zero 7.  She also had some success as a solo act, notably the amazing track "Breathe Me" which you might remember from the series finale of Six Feet Under.  Give some of her other work a listen:

"In the Waiting Line" Zero 7  Their signature song and notable too for soundtrack work, this time in the Zach Braff vehicle Garden State.  As chill a song as you can make.

"Destiny" live from Top of The Pops.  A stirring live version from Zero 7.  A strong dose of R and B that makes for a great bar-b-q companion.
 
"Breathe Me" Sia  As sad and haunting a love song you will ever hear.  Aching and heartfelt vocals and a simple and elegant piano line.

#8 Billboard Track:  "What Makes You Beautiful" One Direction  These guys don't need any more press so let's move on.  Boy bands come and go.   Every 3 or 4 years guys like this capture a large amount of attention, like New Edition, Backstreet Boys, New Kids, NSync, you name it.  If it is male harmonies you like give Brooklyn's Tanlines a try.  It's just as queer to admit liking them as One Direction.  "All of Me" Tanlines  Fast forward through the first wasteful minute.  Also, "Brothers" Tanlines

#7 Billboard Track:  "Scream" Usher  Hmm, not really in my wheelhouse.  Does the alt/indie World have an equivalent?   Probably not.  In that case look here for some other tall guys singing songs.  "Away From You" Oberhofer or "Only The Horses" Scissor Sisters  This has more a David Guetta feel, but Usher has played with him too, right?  Good, clean, foot stomping goodness from this group of merrymakers.

#6 Billboard Track: "Wide Awake" Katy Perry  Ms Perry is a tough one to figure.  She has the whole conservative background and rebelling girl vibe.  She kissed a girl, and sang with Snoop.  She, like Gaga and Minaj, dons wigs and acts zany.  But somewhere in all the packaging is a singer/songwriter.  Why can't she just do that act, like say Ms Clarkson.  She can sing, right?  She doesn't have to dance or wear cupcake bras set on fire, right?  Why do we make her do it?  Or does she make herself do it?  Whatever the case may be there are several female singers and songwriters who are doing it sans wardrobe malfunctions and marketing teams.  Midwestern Eleanor Friedberger is one of them, and you should take a look/listen.  Think today's Rickie Lee Jones.   "My Mistakes" Eleanor Friedberger. Cheeky little video that only makes me like her more or "Roosevelt Island" Eleanor Friedberger  She absolutely killed this song last week at South St Seaport.  A jazzy and straight up funky little number spoken over with brashness by our heroine.  A hidden gem if there ever was one.

#5 Billboard Track:  "Lights" Ellie Goulding  Sometimes the masses are spot on.  This diddy is straight up addicting.  Got nothing to say except enjoy.

# 4 Billboard Track: "Somebody That I Used To Know" Gotye  Like, # 5 the masses are on the money.  This is a viral video (almost 300 million hits!!) and song.   But this Aussie is no one hit wonder.  Do yourself a favor and explore his entire LP.  It is well worth it.  He is also performing live in and around the NYC area in the coming months and his live act is most worthy.  Get the hell on board already.   His LP Making Mirrors is (understatement) brilliant.  "Easy Way Out" Gotye or "Eyes Wide Open" Gotye for further evidence.

#3 Billboard Track:  "Where Have You Been" Rhianna  There is plenty of synth and techno in the alt World.  There are also plenty of female voices.  And it is doubtful these artists have been assaulted by Chris Brown.  Let's celebrate that.  New Zealand's own "Girls Like You" Naked and The Famous or "You're Early" 2:54  Ok, these brit sisters are more rock than dance.  But they are still worth a listen. This is early Sarah McLachan if there ever was!!  Remember, Sarah was quite a performer before she became Ms Animal Abuse Downer.

#2 Billboard Track: "Call Me Maybe" Carly Rae Jepsen  Sugary sweet cut from the Justin Bieber talent factory.  Not offensive.  Not Earth shattering.  A classic summer pop song.  No harm in liking this track for sure.  But if you like female voices without the cheesy videos and overly sweet sentiment take a trip to Sweden, or Iceland.  Their chicks are a bit darker and sing with a bit of an edge as evidence suggests here:  Iceland's Of Monsters and Men "Mountain Sound" and Sweden's First Aid Kit "Emmylou"  Both live videos and both performed quite well.  Big futures await both youthful acts.  First Aid Kit are the second sister act listed here too.  Coolness.

#1 Billboard Track:  "Payphone" Maroon 5 featuring Wiz Khalifa  There are several things that defy logic here and they are not the songs success.  It is more of the same for Adam Levine and CO and that's all good.  However, why does he need to use Autotune on the track and why, oh why, does he cast himself as a gun wielding here in this video.  Sheer bloody fantasy for sure.  At least he isn't a boxer or something, what, wait?  He does that in the video for "One More Night"??  Oh Moses smell the Roses.  Oh, and Minka Kelly is his girl???  Boy oh boy he is living the dream.  Sour grapes much.  Yes indeed.   Give this some attention so you can forget all about Levine's amazing life:

New Killers track "Runaways"  Brandon Flowers' voice is as good as Levine's if not better.  No effect here either.  So glad they are coming out with a new record.  Their new single is a very promising sign.

Plenty of options out there folks.  Happy listening.

Penn State's System is Not Broken

Penn State's system is not broken. It's system works just the way it is supposed to work.

What is a "system"?* A system is an interconnected set of elements that are organized in such a way as to achieve a certain purpose or function.  Systems have flows of information, feedback loops, stocks, and outputs.

What is a system's function or purpose or output? Well, this is where it gets tricky -- the system's function or purpose is not always obvious, because you have to know where to look.

If you don't know where to look, you can misunderstand the system's function and purpose. The function and purpose of the system drives everything else in the system

I think it's more accurate to say that a system is not broken; rather, the system is not producing the output or results that we want. So if the system isn't providing the function or output we want or expect, we probably don't understand the system.

Here's a few common examples of systems that we either fail to understand, or forget what we knew about them:

Corporations - The Occupy Wall Street crowd is continually gnashing their teeth that corporations refuse to willingly act as a government jobs program or an environmental patrol agency. (Interestingly, they disagree with both the Supreme Court and Mitt Romney that corporations are people, but still expect them to act like actual people). Corporations are a system to increase the value of the investment made by the corporation's owners. Good jobs, great products, and cool commercials are all side effects of that purpose, and may act as inputs into it, but they are not the goal or function of the system.

Sex -  Sexual intercourse is a biological system to make a baby. This perpetuates the species, allowing genes to be transmitted to the next generation.  The fact that it can result in a deepening emotional bond between the participants, the fact that despite heaps of puritanical preaching and readily available contraception we still have unplanned pregnancies, the fact that we have, shall we say, discovered and developed a varied repertoire of engaging activities and options in the lead-up to the baby-making part, are side effects of this function or purpose, but not the goal.

Democracy - As practiced today, democracy is not a system for developing the best laws or policies. Its a system for the non-violent selection and replacement of political leaders. Those attempting to become, or remain, leaders in a democracy understand this system.  Laws and polices passed and proposed are done to keep leaders in power. If the policy that results is good and beneficial and popular, that is a side effect of the system, not its goal or purpose.

As for Penn State, we all had a grave misunderstanding of the function and purpose of this system.

We all thought this was a system, led by a humble and self-sacrificing coach,  set up to produce excellent athletes, encourage self discipline, respect for education, and personal responsibility, without the neanderthal behavior that plagues big time college football. And examples of these positive outputs are legion.

But it turns out these outputs were just side effects of the system's actual function and purpose.

Thanks to former FBI Director Louis Freeh's report- we now have a clearer understanding.

The actual function and purpose of Penn State was the perpetuation of a myth at a center of which was a hero figure whose incorruptibility and purity justified any and all actions. Additionally, growing out of the halo around this hero myth was a system that benefited not only those at the top like Paterno and Curley, but also professors, alumni, businesses, fans, and, of course, athletes. All had a stake in this system being perpetuated, and shared in its glory. Anything that threatened that purpose was processed in such a way as to align with the purpose of the system.

Sandusky, unfortunately for his victims, was one of the few who understood the function and purpose of this system perfectly.


*****************************************************
*They say to a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. My latest hammer is derived from an excellent I book I am reading, Thinking in Systems by Donella Meadows.

Quiet Please

There is a little art theatre not far from our hometown.  It houses literally one screen and hasn't been updated in about 40 years.  It does boast some very important modern movie going touche like frozen yogurt and coffee at the concession stand.  Also, and may be most importantly, they only show one trailer and ZERO commercials.   Oh, and the ticket prices are slightly lower than your local mega-plex.

But there is one thing this charming little theatre cannot prevent.  It is something far more damaging than a cell phone's unintended ring.  It is more troubling than your shoe sticking to the glue like floor.

Maybe you don't even realize it?  Maybe you're part of the problem?

Disregard all the stereotypes people. Start a new and more accurate one.  The real enemy at movies these days is baby boomers and their outright ignorance.  These folks can't keep their collective mouths closed!!!

We can give you all a pass during the trailers.  Brag all you want about Timmy teaching Kenyans how to play lacrosse.  Compliment one another on your new Talbots sweater.  Compare notes on the French- Moroccan fusion place you went to last week.

But hey, when the picture starts, keep your opinions, questions, observations, and any other piece of info you feel is so important EVERYONE needs to hear.

Remember, you are in a shared space.  The folks around you are not kin, or friends, or anything.  They are, more than likely, people who want to enjoy the film in quiet.  The director had a vision.  He or she was fortunate enough to have it produced, distributed and placed on this giant screen.

They did not intend to have their dialogue spoken over.  They were certainly not looking for plot reconstruction midway through.  And you can bet they didn't want to tell you "what that character just said?"

If remaining silent and letting others enjoy the picture uninterrupted is going to be an issue please do us all a favor and stay home.  You don't talk during a piano recital.  You don't talk during a Broadway show.

Aside: Oh, and this probably applies to you too so might as well fill you in since an opening arose.  You don't talk when you are in a golf gallery either.  No more "You da man!" or "Get in the hole!!" after every friggin swing.  Let the game breathe.  Bad enough every piece of down time has been replaced by arrogant sound bite or 80s hair metal song at arenas and stadiums Nationwide.  Do we really need it on golf courses too??  Why can't we just keep things still for a bit?  Depeche Mode said it best...  "Enjoy the Silence."

And, back to the point, never talk during a movie.   Ever!

Do whatever makes you happy when sitting in your easy chair at home.

Hearing aid failing?  Don't care.

Attention span falling behind?  Not my problem.

Missed a key scene due to frequent bladder interuptions?  Oh well.

It's simple manners really.  And when someone bitches about how rude today's kids are stop them for a moment and remind them they learned that behavior from someone.

Better yet, take them to a Woody Allen movie.  Rude is on full display. 

Party's Over

A deep melancholia hits me this afternoon.  It probably is rooted in my daughter being away for several weeks.  It is crazy how quiet a house can be without a 10 year old occupying it.  The weekends have been eerily wide open and frankly, odd.  Not that the time alone with my wife hasn't been amazing, it has.  But you forget, or more specifically don't realize, how much time and energy parenting occupies in your life.

But this was an important moment for the little one, and for her parents too.  4th grade presented a ton of social obstacles that neither she, nor we, were prepared to handle.  She needed to experience new things and meet new people.  Through a third party we are told she is enjoying "being herself."  "Whatever the hell that is" we asked.

Point is there were far too many hindrances and anxious moments navigating her schools' halls this year.

And as I look back one thing strikes me as the prime offender:  Birthday parties.

Don't get me wrong, we should all have some life affirming celebration time.  The day we were born is special and demands attention, even at (or especially!) our advanced ages.

How far should we be going at school age is another thing altogether.  Are parties that include entire classes and their siblings appropriate?  Probably not.  After all what message does it send that EVERYONE wants to know and admire you?  The wrong one undoubtably.  By the time you are working age most of us are lucky to have a handful of really close friends.

The same can be said for the intimate gathering, especially in the world of pre-teen girls.  If you invite 5 or 10 of your "besties" it is most certainly going to create tension.  Inevitably there are 1 or 2 girls who thought they were on the short list.  And telling your daughters to keep the party a secret is not a solution.  It still stings us that some school girls, fully aware our daughter was not included on an invite list, asked sarcastically what she had planned for the evening?  They 1) knew they were supposed to be discreet about the event and 2) knew our daughter was not on the list.  Essentially it provided fuel for malice.  Is that what the party was intended for?

Of course not.  So what then is the solution?  We cannot in good conscience put an end to birthday celebrations, right?

Or maybe we can.

Everyone knows middle school and/or adolescence can be quite challenging for kids.  These days it seems like it is far more complex than ever before.

With that this space is requesting birthday parties be discontinued from age 10 through age 15.

No more invites to a select few.  No more invites to the masses.

Nope.  From now on a simple "Happy Birthday" from peers and the shared acceptance that we are all grateful that he or she is alive and well.

However, we do not need to bowl with you, or ride ponies, or even eat cake to acknowledge the occassion.  It is far more important to co-exist and get along at an early age.  There is plenty of time to draw lines in the sand and exclude/include who we want to as we get older.

This was the first year our girl did not have a birthday party (big or small.)  There were mitigating factors, camp abroad chief amongst them.  My guess is when the dust settles and she looks back at the year that was this fact will not even register.

She is able to make plans with friends most any weekend.  She sees many of them during sports team practices and other shared events.

Moving forward she should have the flexibility to hang with jocks, or bookworms, or whomever.

Parties potentially disrupt social convention and seem more detrimental to the process.

Isn't adolescence hard enough?

Let the kids party all the time.  And act themselves, without our interference!

Social Darwinism need not include cake and balloons.  Let it happen organically with social media updates and cyber bullying.

Party people can have their cake and eat it too... alone.


* Apologies to bakers, party planners, and all those who make money on the massive events we call kids parties.  Find your money making opportunities elsewhere.  Perhaps we make parties for those 30-60 bigger events, since, after all, anyone over 30 these days could use a big party for making it this long.  You could argue the parties should be more vital as you age, not wasted on youth.  Sound like a massive justification?  Tough.