Untimely Thoughts On Politics

As the 2012 election season fades into memory, and our elected officials are involved in yet another round of "Fiscal Cliff Chicken", I wanted to offer up a few of my political solutions which, be you leftie, rightie, or ambidextrous , you may find refreshing.

I try to apply two principles that I learned in that great under appreciated school, the corporate world -- "Root Cause Analysis" and "Skin In The Game". Root cause analysis is cutting through the finger pointing and blame shifting and looking at what actually incentivizes people to behave as they do. Having skin in the game moves someone from being an armchair quarterback to someone who has to take their own medicine.

So here goes!

1. Hooray for the One Percent!

I like rich people. We need rich people. Not because they are better than the rest of us. Not because they are "job creators" and not because they are role  models. Whether they have pile of money due to hard work, intelligence, or dumb luck, we need them because.... well, they have most of the money that, like it or not, forms the capital investment infrastructure of our society. So, much of our politics should not be about how to impoverish them, but  how  to get them to keep buying into the system, to continue to have "skin in the game".

My Solution - a one hundred percent estate tax.

You can't take it with you, and you can't leave it to your pinhead kids so they can become well-heeled Euro trash. And you can't make people, foundations, or charities kiss your gold-plated tush to get you to leave it to them in your will.  And no tricky trusts either! Instead, spend it! Buy more houses and yachts, invest in businesses, or even give it away outright. I want it burning a hole in your pocket! Oh, and how to take care of your kids? Try life insurance - its cheaper and, by purchasing same you will be helping stimulate the economy.


2. Sex is the Cure For Everything!

Well, it cures most things, such as loneliness, boredom, muscle tension headaches, and may even clear up your acne. And, if I may be so bold, its a not unpleasant way to pass the time. For eons, various clerics, whether of the religious or scientific variety, have tried to prohibit, regulate, analyze, codify, measure, and ration the making of love.

My Solution - take the money spent on every anti-poverty program, from welfare, food stamps, and housing subsidies to job training, Americorp and government cheese, and replace it with free, readily accessible, and safe contraceptives.

Social ills such as the fracturing of the family unit, juvenile delinquency, divorce, and abortion (listen up pro-lifers!) can all be tied to one common factor -- unwanted pregnancy. Since the greatest psychology experiment ever devised (also known as "human history") has proven that, when the mood strikes, odds are we end up rolling in the hay and deal with the remorse later, why not take our very fallible human judgment and impulse control out of the mix?

3. Send the Illegal Immigrants Packing!

Boy, this one just won't go away. We just can't seem to keep people out of this country! Border patrols, guard dogs, proposed trenches, drones... we seem willing to turn the entire country into a seedy "papers, please" culture to keep folks from running across the border. And why to they come here? So they can listen to talk radio castigate them as parasites? No, they come here for jobs.

My Solution - Require the owner, or CEO, of every business to certify that 1) their company does not employ undocumented workers, and 2) none of their suppliers employ undocumented workers.  If it turns out this has been violated, its ten years in the federal pen.

I guarantee the flow over the border would be a trickle in less than a year. Let's think about this like business people. If you want to destroy a market, you cut off the demand. Rather than rounding up poor, desperate people trying to improve their condition, and shred our own constitutional rights in the process, let's get to the root cause -- the desire to pay below market rates for labor.

Let me know what you think,...more to come soon!