When Good Concerts Go Bad, Fiona Apple, Wellmont Theatre, 10.12.12

This is waaayyyy too far away to see Fiona Apple

She is still super thin, and has some Madonna-esque definition in her arms.

Her voice, and band were both strong.  She commands the stage and is most comfortable there.  No, it's not the hash!

When Friday night rolls around a few slices of pizza, bad tv and the couch can be heavenly.  The weeks are difficult and I know I/we are not alone.  There is work, parenting, coaching, trying to avoid election coverage, eating, sleeping among other things.  Finding money for entertainment is one thing.  Finding the time to go enjoy said entertainment is most certainly another.

We catch a fair amount of shows, not enough movies and an embarrassingly small amount of museums over the course of a year.  Weekends are spent pursuing excitement and relaxation.  More often than not they end up an exercise in housework and menial chores.  It is why Friday nights are coveted evenings of decompression and abject disinterest.

A Tuesday concert really is not that awful.  For the most part your body and mind are turned on.  You will more than likely get to sleep around midnight regardless.  Wednesday's alarm clock will go off whether you go out the night before or not.  In other words, Wednesday is gonna suck concert or no concert.

It was with some trepidation we decided on a Friday night show.  And not because Ms Apple is unworthy.  The poster child of 90s heroin chic and pretty darn accomplished singer/songwriter/pianist
Apple is certainly worthy.  Is she $50 a ticket at Wellmont in Montclair worthy?

Answer:  Unsure.

This blog pays nothing but the joy of writing it and, hopefully, you reading it.

Naturally I thought that ticket would get me on the floor.  We have all become pretty accustomed to being near the stage.  Take a look at some recent posts for my usual view M83, Naked and The Famous or White Rabbits .  Those pics are from the World's worst camera phone. Thanks for nothing Droid!

$50 a ticket is steep.  Especially for a New Jersey show.  And more specifically for a general admission theatre ticket.  Wellmont is a redesigned 1922 movie theatre.  Large netting covers the art deco ceiling in an attempt to shield its patrons from falling plaster.  The stage is a nice size and the sound is pretty darn good.  It is not however the Beacon Theatre or Radio City.  It's swell that it is not on the other  side of the Hudson.  It's amazing how crossing through the tunnel, just a few miles from Wellmont/Montclair, affects a trip.  5 minutes of City driving can be enough to put you in a foul mood. Couple that with any Jersey driving, all of which DOES put you in a foul mood...  and you get the drift.

After arriving at 9 on the nose we headed to our usual spot (right stage side on the floor.)  After another shit week we deserved some cocktails.  Excuse us for missing the opening act.  Sometimes you need a little fried food and spirits.  But, besides staying thirsty my friends, act responsibly.  When we showed our stubs to the usher he politely said "Oh, you are upstairs."

"Huh?" was probably my response.

Apparently our tickets were General Admission "Balcony."  The balcony has seats, as opposed to the standing room only floor section.  The GA seats were first come first serve.

First things first.  The Wellmont is much bigger than I thought.  We ended up about 10 stories high and fully able to smell the very plaster that threatens to fall.  $50??  For this.

Ms Apple took the stage about a minute after we sat down.  She looked skinny.  In fact, she literally looked like a toothpick from our viewpoint.

Her band started playing the wonderful  Fast As You Can, we think.  Cause we could not hear much.

$50?  For this?

No, this is a $20 seat you pick up on the spur of the moment.  At $50 your seat should be assigned.  That was the only GA ticket available at point of purchase and nowhere did it say we would be responsible for dusting the ceiling.

But perhaps worse than that nonsense was the obnoxious crowd that surrounded us.

First we had to climb over 20 something make out crew.  We are not talking lovers embrace and mild kissing either.  This was full on, kissing like 7th graders in the closet of a house party, not coming up for air, off to war not seeing you for a while, make out crew.  At a Fiona Apple concert???!!!

"Excuse me. can you stop violating her kidneys with your tongue and let us through?"  They did, grudgingly.

During Shadowboxer, when others around us started chattering and talking over Apple's ballad.  It was clear things were not going to get better.

Bad view, bad sound and a crowd unwilling to give the artist a modicum of respect.

It all went terribly wrong so fast.  We climbed over the make out crew again and headed downstairs.  Picture the yodeling hiker on that The Price is Right game when you think of our ascent/descent to our seats.  It was up there!  And we did not get a parting gift for getting there!

Pawn Stars and spending the night with our daughter was being sacrificed for this?  And the baseball???  The glorious baseball playoffs that we could have been watching.

And this isn't a knock on dear, sweet Fiona Apple.

We got to the floor (kinda) after alerting the head usher of our dilemma.

"Yeah, they should be on the floor, let em in," he hollered to his underlings once we made it downstairs.

Too little, too late.  The floor was mobbed, we were aggravated, and the crowd at the backbar was as annoying as the folks upstairs.

But we managed to hear some songs as she intended, notably "Werewolf" from her latest LP, the impossibly titled The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than The Driver of The Screw And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do.  She is strong in voice, piano, stage presence and material.  A good show and pleasant experience was in there somewhere, probably for all those within ear/eyeshot of the concert they paid good money for.

Maybe another time, at another venue, we will be able to buy whatever she is selling.  For now a certain bitterness fills the air.  

An incomplete grade on an event that held such lofty expectations makes for a piss poor start to the weekend.

Thankfully the next show is on a Tuesday.  You hear that Miike Snow??!!  The pressure is on.

For a legitimate review please take a look at Tris McCall's take here: Tris McCall Star Ledger Fiona Apple review

She plays the Count Basie Theatre in Red Bank, NJ and Terminal 5 in NYC.  Go get yours should you dare.

What You Should Know, Summer 2012 Part 2

School is out.  Baseball is headed toward the All Star break.  The 4th of July is next week!  Geez, just like that we are fully immersed in summer.  You ready?  You already vacationing?  What is on your playlist?  When the top down what do you HAVE to hear?  Maroon 5's "Payphone" on your radar?  Train's "Drive By?"  One Direction?  Kimbra?  Nicky Minaj?

That's all fine and dandy.  The alt world is alive and kicking too.  And don't look now, but the 90s are back and in full gear.  Over the past few weeks Garbage, Lit, Smashing Pumpkins and even Marcy Playground have put out new records.  That's a welcome relief from all the synth/tech/hipster deluge that has dominated the indie world for the past few years.  Dive into some of these familiar sounds and dust off the flannels.  Oh, and take a listen to some other tracks that may have escaped you too.

And for God's sake re apply that sunscreen.  Have you learned nothing at your advanced age??  Like Woody Allen said "Everything our parents told us was good is bad...  sun, red meat, college."  Happy listening!

Garbage: "Blood for Poppies"  Shirley Manson personified the 90s grunge/rock chick.  She was a little messy, a little angry and a little hot.  Your mom would have been mortified if you brought her home for dinner, but your dad totally understood.   Is she still only happy when it rains?  That is unclear.  She does still have a solid voice and here she brings an almost Everclear feel to the proceedings.  Fun stuff.

Fiona Apple "Werewolf"  Call her what you will, and there are several adjectives that fit, but do NOT discount her voice,  piano chops, or raw talent.   Oh, and she can write a song too.  Nevermind the pretension (which is evident in her LP's endless title.)  This song is a stand out and deserves some respect (or at least a download.)

Smashing Pumpkins "Oceania"  Like Apple, Billy Corgan was/is a polarizing figure from the 90s.  Do you love him?  Hate him?  No one is ever ambivalent toward him.  Just look at the former band members who can't even speak to him.  Weird.  Especially considering Corgan, like Apple, writes rich and smart material that evokes emotion and raw energy.  The new record keeps his reputation intact.  It is great to have him back.

Marcy Playground "Hallelujah"  It's always good to hear a cover.  And this Leonard Cohen track has been covered roughly a million times.  Jeff Buckley and Mike Myers have both done admirable jobs to name a few.  But there is something to be said about singer John Wozniak belting it out.  After all, he was the guy who smelled sex and candy.  They just released a new record (mixing some new material with their hits/B sides and rarities- titled Lunch, Recess and Detention.)  Good to see they have not lost their sense of humor.  And good for you for remembering how good they were/are.

Lit "You Tonight"  There is something to be said for simply staying together as a band.  For Lit, that means over 20 years playing, recording and touring with (3!) of the original members.  And that includes brothers!  Think Kings of Leon will be together in 20 years?  Listen up to some good old fashioned West Coast rock and roll.

Keane "Silenced By the Night"  Last month the English rockers released their 4th LP, Strangeland.  They are driven primarily by lead singer Tom Chaplin's bold vocals and catchy hooks.  In this song he hits on these points quite well.  They are not as popular as their peers Coldplay, Snow Patrol or Muse.  Chaplin has had problems with booze.  It is an underdog story worth rooting for.  Can they stand the test of time?   Will we continue to care?  Time will tell.

Of Monsters and Men "Mountain Sound"  Iceland is most definitely in the house.  The second single from this group's debut record My Head is an Animal is as good (probably better than) "Little Talks." There is a richness and depth in their sound many kids would not be able to create.  Again, the trend of men and women trading vocals (Givers, Grouplove, Naked and Famous, etc...) is alive and well.  This cut is from an April performance in Williamsburg.  Beyond Worthy!!!

Walk the Moon "Next in Line"  Ohio boys have a knack for creating catchy hooks.  They are also out promoting their debut record (self titled.)  They may have some underlying identity issues, what with the face paint and attitude.  But they capture an 80s nostalgia better than most.  And the line "Won't you stay shotgun til the day I die" remains an early favorite for best of 2012.  They have all the synths, echo and harmony of a young Dream Academy.  Added bonus:  acoustic impromptu performance in NYC's Madison Square Park of Anna Sun:  Watch Here  Loving the sirens blaring behind them!!!

Cat Power "Ruin"  It has been over 6 years since Chan Marshall, otherwise known as Cat Power, put out new material.  If this single is any indication of what to expect from her LP Sun (due out in September) we should all be most grateful.  She produced this record all by herself and, reading up on her tumultuous times since The Greatest came out in 2006, lots has happened!   Chan is a tortured artist.  And as we have seen with Adele sometimes heartbreak and depression can lead to amazing creativity.  She also happens to be super sexy as Richard Avedon captured for the New Yorker several years ago: Cat Power photo

Jimmy Fallon "Reading Rainbow"  This is about a year old, but the editors here rarely stay up for the 11:30pm talk shows, let alone 12:30!!  Fallon promoted his new LP on Howard Stern a few weeks back and this particular number stands out.  His Neil Young, Bowie and Bob Dylan are all amazing...  but this parody of Jim Morrison and The Doors is both pitch perfect and laugh out loud funny.  Enjoy!!

Keep rocking this summer and please join the discussion.  What is on your playlist this summer?  What song can you not get enough of?

Check out the first edition of summer 2012 here:  What You Should Know Part 1