Movie Review- "The Three Stooges"

Ronald "Ronnie" Ortiz-Magro, Jr (after being slapped by Moe): "Hey, that's assault!"

Moe, before delivering double eye poke: "Yeah? Here's your pepper!"

Why do we like what we like?

If most of us are honest, we really don't know the source of our desires and tastes.

There are some things that invoke deeply polarized visceral reactions from people, things for which there is no middle ground. Things like scotch, olives, golf, raw seafood, Howard Stern, cowboy hats, or  jazz -- you either passionately love them or hate them.  And I think these powerful likes and dislikes tell us the most about ourselves, especially as these opposite poles meet in the "things we love to hate."

I think The Three Stooges fall into this category. You love them, hate them, or perhaps love to hate them. They provoke strong reactions from everyone. Even those who hate them know who they are.

During the Great Depression, vaudevillians Moses Horwitz, Jerome Horwitz, and Louis Feinberg created hundreds of short movies in which three holy fool archetypes -- the bullying loudmouth (Moe), the idiot man-child (Curley), and the clueless dreamer (Larry) --- witlessly stumbled through countless get rich quick schemes. Hilarity ensued, not just from their John Woo-like balletic violence against each other, but from how snobby heiresses, scheming con-men,  cruel cops, and puritans of all stripes became deserving victims of the resulting collateral damage.

In this, the Age of The Remake, it was only a matter of time. After years of stop and start "development hell", the Farrelly Brothers' "The Three Stooges" has arrived. 

Before Judd Apatow, from the early nineties to the early aughts, the Farrelly Brothers dominated movie comedies .  Their list of hits -- Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary, Me My Self and Irene, Kingpin, Outside Providence, Shallow Hall and Stuck on You ---with varying degrees of artfulness but with plenty of laugh out loud moments,  redefined movie comedies with a distinctive blend of slapstick toilet humor and surprisingly sweet characters. Their recent efforts, The Heartbreak Kid and Hall Pass, have been more uneven.

"The Three Stooges" development started back when the Farrellys (who always cited the Stooges as a key influence) were at their peak. At one point, Sean Penn was on board to play Larry, Russel Crowe slated to play Moe, and Jim Carrey was halfway through a De Niro-as-LaMotta 80 pound weight gain regimen to play Curley. Timing, scheduling conflicts, and the Farrellys' dropping Hollywood stock combined to stall the project for over a decade.

Its hard to imagine the three acting powerhouses listed above improving on the current cast, whose embodiment of the voices, character, and physicality of the original Stooges, is uncanny.

Sean Hayes of Will and Grace, with shaved head and bushy wig, captures Larry's nasal voice and loopy delivery perfectly (For you back-in-the-day WXRK listeners, Billy West, who performed the classic "Larry Fine at Woodstock" bit on K-Rock, was Hayes's voice coach for this role).

Will Sasso, cast member of Mad TV --- the much edgier and darker Saturday Night Live competitor, my devotion to which resulted in a huge gap in my SNL knowledge -- as Curley can only be described as channelling the late Jerome Horwitz's beefy comic grace and puppy-dog like loyalty and enthusiasm.

Finally, Chris Diamantopoulos, a pleasantly handsome "Oh yeah, that guy" actor with a string of supporting roles in various TV series ( Charmed, 24, The Starter Wife, Sopranos, Nip/Tuck ), is unrecognizable and pitch perfect as the bowl cut, baggy eyed, barking Moe.

The plot is structured as three separate half hour Stooges "shorts", each serving an act in the boys journey to raise the money to save the orphanage that raised them. The orphanage plot serves as a clever explanation for the Stooges innocence and childishness -- never having been adopted, they have lived to adulthood in the orphanage, never before having contact with the outside world until forced to venture out to raise the $860,000 needed to save it.
They are matched against villains Sophia Vergara (Modern Family) as a scheming seductress, and Larry David in drag as their Margaret Dumas at the orphanage, Sister Mary Mengele.

And speaking of things you love to hate, the cast of Jersey Shore is at their most watchable in a very funny subplot that wryly comments on the modern phenomenon of inadvertent (and inexplicable) fame.

What else to say? My guess is that my review, or any review, will not have the slightest impact on who sees this movie. So I'm not even going to venture a recommendation. The finest single malt scotch means nothing to you if you hate scotch. And I hate scotch. But I love olives. On the other hand, I hate golf but I do love raw seafood and Howard Stern. But I hate cowboy hats and jazz....

Then and Now, Part 1

Like acid wash, the TV show Dallas, and Bruce Springsteen, what once was old is new again.  Many times driving "dads taxi," SiriusXM's "First Wave" or "80s on 8" is the preferred New Jersey suburban roads.  It is the reason my daughter requests me to sing Neil Tennant's beyond queer lisp from "West End Girls."  It is why her secret song with her neighborhood friend is "867-5309."  She can learn the 70s and 60s on her time.  You should be a little more mature before you get into Stones, Beatles, Dylan territory anyway.  

Not to mention the correlation between the alt synth acts of today and their 80s influences.  

Is there such a thing as original thought these days?  Original song?  

So many of my friends and peers might dismiss an artist as derivative, or cheesy, or irrelevant, because they "sound" like INSERT BAND NAME HERE.  

Are these the same folks that dismiss Led Zeppelin because they were Robert Johnson rip offs?  Or ignore the Stones cause they stole from Chuck Berry and Muddy Waters?

Of course not.  And doubtful they would go examine the source materials either.  They likes what they likes and ain't nothing else getting in there.

Too bad.  

Truth is there were plenty of great songs, acts, performances from the 1980s.  And the same can be said of 2010's.  Take a look/listen to the selections below once the 8 track or cassette you have been playing to death is over.  

You might find yourself with something unexpected.  The best case would be a new memory, or smile.

Then:  Tony Carey "A Fine, Fine Day (for a reunion)"   Huge storytelling classic from early MTV and one that holds a special place in this bloggers heart.  Can't explain the appeal...  is it the Meatloaf-esque hair?  The mobster storyline?  The Hammond organ?  All good from the 80s...

Now:  Wilco "Born Alone"  Sure, Jeff Tweedy is a revered rock star with enough critical acclaim to choke Tony Carey.  But the organ?  The rasp and scream.  The mood and melody I know, it's only rock and roll, but I like it.

Then: Nik Kershaw "Wouldn't It be Good"  Another staple of early 80s video rock.  Primitive computer effects and drving electronic drum beats played over glorious synths.  You want to hate it, you really do.  But when all alone you crank it up and belt out the chorus.  Just admit it!!!

Now:  Friendly Fires "Hawaiian Air"  Synths still very much alive these days.  And simple lyrics and melodies.  The simple notion of a simple toe tapping beat has never really left.  Nor has recognizing solid talent.

Then:  Tears for Fears "Head Over Heels"  A giant hit from an absolutely GIANT band.  Again, not a revolutionary approach displayed here.  Rather, a smart and concise idea executed to perfection.  The biggest question might be who obsess over that librarian??  We get the 80s had that androgyny thing going...  but geez.

Now:  M83 "Reunion"  If you told me this record was made in 1983 I would be apt to believe it.  But all the packaging suggests it was last year.  And the author of each song (Anthony Gonzalez) was born in 1982.  So, there you have it.  

Then:  Pet Shop Boys "Domino Dancing"  Tennant's voice is so distinctive.  Upon hearing it you are immediately reminded of sweaters with shoulder pads, skinny ties with piano keys on them, mustard colored jackets, Bill Cosby and his pudding pops.  

Now: Cut/Copy "Hearts on Fire"  Synths and effeminate male vocalist?  You betcha!!  Shine the lights of the strobe, do a line or two, and get grooving!!  Well, maybe not the line or two.  That stuff should never make a comeback.  You here that Bobby Brown!!

Then:  Wang Chung "Fire in the Twilight"  It's from The Breakfast Club Soundtrack for Christ's sake. Case closed right?  What, you need more convincing?  This band is crazy underrated and should be on everyone's mobile device.  NOW!!!

Now:  Delta Spirit "Tear It Up"  Whereas Wang Chung had a West Coast sound, but were from Europe...  these guys have that sound from the authentic zip code (no, not 90210.)  Think more valley LA with all the guitars and angst to prove it.

A nice little sampling and hopefully one to get you thinking.

What has been omitted, both then and now?

Do you have better comparisons in mind?  Is the exercise futile?  Worth pursuing?

Time will tell.  But this is much is certain.  I am already looking forward to writing the next one.  

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